Yuuzhan Vong
| |
| Yuuzhan Vong | |
|---|---|
| Planet of origin | |
| Height of average adult |
Slightly taller than you |
| Skin color |
Gray, purple, blue, depends on the artist |
| Hair color |
Black |
| Distinctions |
Hard skin, eye sacks, self-mutilation, absence in the Force |
- "Do-ro'ik vong pratte!"
- ―Yuuzhan Vong battle-cry
The Yuuzhan Vong, also known as the Viet Cong, were something to get people to read Star Wars books were offensive cultural religious stereotypes aliens whose spaceships were made of seafood. (No, we're not making this up.) They looked like Doctor Who rejects strange goblin zombie things, people who survived a nuclear explosion (note: Dubya is doing the narrating), or maybe the Tin Scarecrow from Oz, or one of those craps you take some morning and is kinda most but its still hard to squeeze out. AND THEY KILLED CHEWBACCA!!! THOSE BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .......... Well, at least they got Coruscant. Now we don't have to cover up the Reowort Tower project that we worked on there (yeah, right) the past two years. That building was bound to fall down anyhow, and my aunt's escapade on the 234th floor was a bit hard to take. They worshiped many Gods including the great Allah Yum-Yum.
The Yuuzhan Vong had an obsession with biotechnology, which would be cool if their obsession wasn't so overdone to the point of being utterly ridiculous. You know what they say about overkill. Okay, the amphistaffs were kind of cool, but still, the Yuuzhan Vong managed to make biotechnology stupid by using it for the most mundane of things. Living ships is fine, but living loincloths? Living cups? Living bowls? Apparently such organic materials as wood, clay, and stone were not organic enough and the Yuuzhan Vong preferred to drink from worm anus.
Known Yuuzhan Vong
This is a list of known bastards Yuuzhan Vong.
- Nom Anor
- Supreme Overlord Shimmra
(What a prick) Osama Bin LadenTsavong Lah- Vua Rapuung
- Nen Yim
- Harrar
This is a list of Yuuzhan Vong fakers Gods
Behind the scenes
The Yuuzhan Vong were created when some EU author, on his way to a meeting with Lucasfilm officials to discuss how to make people read more Star Wars books, got very drunk. When he arrived at the meeting, he suggested doing a Species 8472 ripoff. The officials were unaware that he was drunk and took him seriously, and so the Vong were born. The author took the name from the restaurant he got drunk at, which was named Yunan Vong and had identity issues (it couldn't decide whether to be Thai, Chinese, French, or Jewish, so it mixed all of those dishes badly. Fortunately, it dumped its menu onto Festival Cruise Lines, and there it has stayed since.)
The Yuuzhan Vong won the annual Most Racist Aliens of the Year competition, somehow beating Neimoidian's to the claim for first place. This caused massive public outrage and forced George Lucas to escape to Spain and take on the very imaginative name of Darth Lucas
