Wedge Antilles
| |
| Wedge Antilles | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld | |
| Born |
21 BBY |
| Died |
15 ABY |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender | |
| Height |
He was short because he loved flying |
| Hair color |
Brown |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
Kick Ass Era |
| Affiliation | |
- "Look at the size of that thing! Uhh…I've got, er, uh-uh-a-an engine failure here…yeah, that’s it. Oh, well, looks like I’d better pop off back to base for repairs. Ciao!"
- ―An example of Wedge’s heroic actions at the Battle of Yavin
Wedge "Wedgie" Antilles was a totally brave and courageous X-wing pilot who never gave up, no matter what the odds, not even if Darth Vader himself were chasing him. No, siree, Wedge was always dependable in the heat of battle! Also, he was definitely not offered a position with the Rebellion because his nephew was a famous Jedi Master.
Early years
Wedge was born Percival Hardwycke Antilles, but the emotional distance that grew between his parents in the wake of his birth earned him the derogatory nickname "Wedge," which tragically somehow wound up on his birth certificate. Each parent blamed Wedge, frequently and to his face, for their new marital difficulties.
Finding his true calling
- "Don't vape me, bro!"
- ―Wedge Antilles, in combat
Wedge took to flying during one of his more successful attempts to run away from home, in which a badly-timed afterburner burst ignited his family's space station and incinerated his parents, their employees, and Wedge's beloved Darth Darth Binks plush toy. (NOOOOOOOOOO!)
Falling victim to the Rebel Alliance's angsty-youth-targeted propaganda, Wedge became a Rebel pilot and famously survived engagements with twelve different Death Stars.
He flew alongside Biggs Darklighter, whose sweet mustache could not protect him from enemy fire in the Battle of Yavin, and he died, but Wedge lived on. He flew alongside Dak Ralter in the Battle of Hoth, whose confidence that he could take on the whole Empire himself could not protect him from enemy fire, and he died, but Wedge lived on. Wedge was funny that way. He flew with Rouge Squadron alongside Luke Skywalker for most of the Galactic Civil War, then became leader of Rouge Squadron when Luke became a Jedi. He was friends with Wes Janson, Tycho Celchu, Derek "Hobbie" Klivian, and a bunch of unimportant people who blew up.
Wedge's Kill List
- 2,456,987 TIE fighters
- 1,876 Star Destroyers
- 2 Freaking Death Stars
- IG-88
- Luke Skywalker (because he sucked)
- 42 X-wings "on accident" he said
- Coruscant
- 28 Sun Crushers
- Bill Cosby
