Thrackan Sal-Solo
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| Thrackan Sal-Solo | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld | |
| Born |
35 BBY |
| Died |
40 ABY (shot 76 times) |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender | |
| Hair color |
Brown, graying, brown again (Just for Men) |
| Eye color |
Brown |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
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| Affiliation |
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- "Drat! Double drat! Curses, foiled again! I would've gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids! And other stock villain phrases. Evil."
- ―Thrackan Sal-Solo
Thrackan Sal-Solo was Han Solo's evil cousin. He was baaaaaaaaad. Really bad. He was a criminal for most of his life, and so inevitably he became the Corellian head of state. He followed the Evil Twin Rule, since he looked almost exactly like Han Solo, except he had a beard.
Biography
Early life
Thrackan grew up with a crazy single mom who stayed indoors all the time and wore her old wedding dress like a bathrobe. Somewhere upstairs she had a rotting wedding cake infested with rats. So Thrackan had the run of the place... and access to plenty of rats, so he took up animal torture.
He briefly encountered his cousin Han, and they became fast-fake-friends. They hung out together until Thrackan's bullying became too much for Han to bear, and he pulled a Scut Farkus attack and beat Thrackan into submission. Broken and humiliated, Thrackan had no choice but to pursue a career in politics.
Rise to power
Well... the part where he rose to power hasn't really been covered in any of the novels yet. I dunno... let's say... um... he bribed a few officials... and, uh... hooked up with the mob. Anyway, the point is, he was prospering in the Galactic Empire, but when the New Republic reclaimed Corellia, Thrackan disappeared and became head of the Human League, a racist group that recorded such horrible and catchy tunes as "Don't You Want Me" and "Keep Feeling Fascination."
Doing stupid things later in life
During the Yuuzhan Vong War, Thrackan wanted to use Centerpoint Station to destroy the Yuuzhan Vong fleet, but Anakin Solo was the only one who could get the machine to work, and Anakin was convinced killing billions of sentient beings was evil... so Thrackan rolled his eyes and pushed the button himself. It would've been a really cool moment, but unfortunately, there were a bunch of New Republic ships in the way at the time, and he ended up destroying both fleets. Whoops. What, he couldn't have waited a few seconds?
Next up, he started a Second Galactic Civil War and placed a bounty on the entire Solo family. Eventually, he got shot repeatedly by Ailyn Vel and Boba Fett. Han Solo stood back and refused to shoot first.
After Thrackan was dead, Boba shot him a few more times, knocked off for lunch, came back, shot him again, then left. A few days later, at Thrackan's funeral, Boba Fett showed up and blasted a dozen holes in the body, destroying the coffin and accidentally wounding three pallbearers. From that point on, every year, on the anniversary of Thrackan's death, Fett would visit Thrackan's grave, dig him up, and shoot the corpse a few times in remembrance.
