The Gonk Crusades

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In Book III of TGC, anti-Gonk sentiment threatens to overtake the world...and one of these people will DIE!
"Only one thing stands between Gonk and his sacred vision of world domination... Stupidity."
―The Gonk Crusades tagline

The Gonk Crusades is the official Darthipedia webcomic, created by Gonk. It premiered on June 16, 2008 and tells the story of Gonk's holy war against dumbasses everywhere.

The Gonk Crusades is on indefinite hiatus. You can get caught up if you missed Book I, II, or III by scrolling down to the Archive section.

Current installment

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Archive

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Book I

1. "Pilot"
2. "The Path of Gonk"
3. "Beyond the Gonk Portal"
4. "Gonk's Weapon"
5. "The Enemies of Gonk"
6. "Dissent in the Ranks"
7. "The Battle Plan"
8. "Nemesis of the Geek"
9. "The War Begins"
10. "Caped Confrontation"
11. "Supergeeky Have New Friend"
12. "Supergeeky, Master Bate-Fan"
13. "The Villain Revealed"
14. "Into the Stinky Darkness"
15. "The Air Down There"
16. "Encounter in the Netherregions"
17. "There Can Be Only One Geek"
18. "We Don't Need Another Hero"
19. "Endgame"
20. "A Bitter Denouement"
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Book II

21. "A New Menace"
22. "Sins of the Father"
23. "The Will of Lord Oblivion"
24. "A Peril Postponed"
25. "For Whom the Muffin Rolls"
26. "Muffins of Oblivion"
27. "Oblivion Unleashed"
28. "Ruins of Oblivion"
29. "Dawn of the Prime Evil"
30. "Betrayal"
31. "The Bake Sale...of DOOM"
32. "Of Muffins and Carnage"
33. "Gonk in Chains"
34. "What the Hell Just Happened?"
35. "Next Time"
36. "Redemption"
37. "Robot Rumpus"
38. "From the Jaws of Defeat"
39. "Friends in High Places"
40. "Resurrection"
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Book III

41. "Oblivion Begin Again"
42. "Villain's Creed"
43. "With HARMS Wide Open"
44. "Honor Thy Father"
45. "Vanquished in Vancouver"
46. "There May Be Blood"
47. "Unrestful Slumber"
48. "Deadly Alliance"
49. "A Tragic Announcement"
50. "The Jumping of the Shark"
51. "The Gungan Menace"
52. "Muy Muy Treachery"
53. "Enter the Traitor"
54. "The Destruction of Gonk"
55. "Revelation"
56. "Robo-Pope Vs. Madclaw"
57. "The Stranger"
58. "Binks Triumphant"
59. "Revenge of the Gump"
60. "A Sith Subdued"

Dramatis personae

Main cast

  • Gonk – deity/power droid

    Gonk – deity/power droid

  • Robo-Pope – one of the founders of the Church of G*nk

    Robo-Pope – one of the founders of the Church of G*nk

  • Supergeeky – superhero with a sort of "geek" theme

    Supergeeky – superhero with a sort of "geek" theme

  • Acky – the humorously ethnic member of the group

    Acky – the humorously ethnic member of the group

  • Jedimca – Jedi Knight and friend to Acky

    Jedimca – Jedi Knight and friend to Acky

  • Pinky – the quiet one

    Pinky – the quiet one

  • M.A.D.C.L.A.W. – Mechanical, Absolutely-Destructive Cybernetic Laser-Actuated Wookiee

    M.A.D.C.L.A.W. – Mechanical, Absolutely-Destructive Cybernetic Laser-Actuated Wookiee

Supporting cast

  • Bate-Man – dark, strangely compelling superhero

    Bate-Man – dark, strangely compelling superhero

  • Greyman – mild-mannered Canadian Jedi Master

    Greyman – mild-mannered Canadian Jedi Master

  • Madclaw's monkey – don't ask

    Madclaw's monkey – don't ask

  • Master Gump – Texas Jedi Master and dispenser of Texas Jedi Justice

    Master Gump – Texas Jedi Master and dispenser of Texas Jedi Justice

Adversaries

  • Sewergeeky – foul-smelling evil doppelganger of Supergeeky

    Sewergeeky – foul-smelling evil doppelganger of Supergeeky

  • Lord Oblivion – rather overbearing dark sorcerer

    Lord Oblivion – rather overbearing dark sorcerer

  • Anti-Gonk – impersonator of Gonk who seeks to enslave the world

    Anti-Gonk – impersonator of Gonk who seeks to enslave the world

  • Darth Darth Binks – Gungan Sith too evil for just one Darth

    Darth Darth Binks – Gungan Sith too evil for just one Darth

Special guest stars

  • Steven Spielberg – visionary Academy Award-winning director

    Steven Spielberg – visionary Academy Award-winning director

  • Sean Penn – actor, activist, and former Madonna husband

    Sean Penn – actor, activist, and former Madonna husband

Special guest villains

  • Scott Stapp – former Creed frontman and flunky of Lord Oblivion

    Scott Stapp – former Creed frontman and flunky of Lord Oblivion

Occasionally Asked Questions

Q: When's the next one?

A: The Gonk Crusades is released on a fairly regular schedule, but that schedule varies from book to book. Check the History tab of this page to see when the most recent installments were added, and extrapolate from there. Note that, on occasion, special bonus installments will come out—or, conversely, an installment may be delayed for various reasons.


Q: How many books will there be?

A: Maybe three, maybe six. Nine is a remote, but distinct, possibility. (Kind of like Star Wars.)


Q: I noticed many of these characters are based on actual Darthipedians. Can I be in The Gonk Crusades?

A: Probably not. At this time, the scripts for all planned future installments are complete.


Q: Who is responsible for this travesty?

A: Direct all your rancor (but please not your rancors) to Gonk. Occasionally, Gonk has solicited ideas from other Darthipedians, but in the interest of protecting their identities, he has claimed their ideas as his own.

Related topics

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