Terrible Star Wars Fanfic
Hai dis is my 1st fanfic so i hup u liek it cuz i tried hard an it has a good story an iz gonna be G cannon cuz it rockz so plz read fanks!!!!!1111111111!
Chapter 1
I My names is Lord Darth Evil Colossal Nightmare Devastator Obliterator Rex (dath evil for short) an Im 29 years old and Im a sith aprentis an i have a litsabr dat haz a BIG badass cross on it an I know force choke an force thundr and forc fire an force ice an force lasers an i so pwn anyboody who liek to bugz me so i killz them like BAM. I work for da fist ordar and supreme leedur Smoke an liv on teh stakiller bass.my mastr is da GRAND DAD dARth vadr he thinks im really really cool an he says "Im the mst fuking awesome sith ever" an we watch trasformers and pray haloez togethr. I lik starwarz but i also lik transformrs (OMFG MEGAN FOX IS HOTTTTTTT), soul caliber, hailo, gta, super smash brus, linkin park, evanjellyion (OMG AHSUKA IS HOT LULZ), kaney west, gren day, and i hat twilight, wii fit, inyasha, barney, jarjar, ewoks, ashoka, elmo, lady gaga, hana montannah, C3PO cuz hes gay and dark vade and i went to kill twilit an wii fit and lady gaygay & hannah montana one day becuz thye suck. but not jarjar and ewoks becuz we kil dem in dis fic.
on day dath vadar n i wer watchn transformer 66 in 3d. We were in da new movie theetre in he staklriller baes which was just built and we painted it cuz it was cool. it had cool linkn park songs n it.
MEGATRON IS AWESOME" i sed.
"AUTOBOTZ SUX" vedor sed. "They r sooooooo retarded!111111111"
"MEGAN FOX IS HOT" i sed.
"ME TOO" sad vadr. "LETS GO FIND MEGN FOX AN RAPE HER LULZ"
so we left teh def str to go find megan foxxx an rape her but frst vadr and i plaied smash brus tgether and he was GANON DA DANK KING OF DISRESPEK and i was samus (wif nothin on but a blue suity an big boobies) and I wanted 2 win but I cldnt cuz vadr was 2 fucking awesom 4 me an disrespekful so i lost
"EH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH" gannon sed wen vaber won da matsch
"SAMUS IS HOT" i sed.
"ME TOO" sad vadr. "LETS GO FIND SAMUS AN RAPE HER LULZ"
"no lets go find megn fox first. den samus"
"But I hate pathetc sakirai for not puting me in ssb4" sayed vader.
"so lets go kill him unles he pus you in"
So we went to earth in our deaf star which was black and blue cuz those cullrz r awesome (fanks to hux 4 de advice) and darf vader was in smash 4.
"now les go meet samus"
so we watsched evangaylion becuz tansfromers waz big nd dumb and we needed something brainy and confusing becuz Vader is the smartest guy ever.
"ASUKA IS HOT" i sed. den Darht vaber choked me.
"SHES 14 YOU SICK FUCK" da sith lord told me.
"ok"
Anywai We went to tah planet Fweeeeeeee wer my frend craptin fasma (thaz u hucks u so rock fanks for da help) was and we went thair in a rented deaf star which was not as big but the colurs were so much more awesome so we rented that 1 insted. sh was a fucking awsom stomtrupper comander who was all big and silver and british and shit.
"hai capten wer looking for megan fox."
"OMFFFFFFG shes hot im coming"
so Phasma cam wif us to find magan fox. boba fett was thair.
dont wory im still workin on it an itll be really awsom lulz (hux thiks so) wif lots of boobies
Notes and references
Unfortunately, George Lucas did decide to make this G-canon. However, after the franchise buyout by Darth Disney, it was revealed to be a story written by Kylo Ren on his downtime. Ren would force the entire First Order to listen to his dramatic reading of his own shitty fanfic on his birthday, and smash up nearby equipment whenever an audience member would show boredom and/or indifference.
