Relations
- "Good relations with the Wookiees I have! Yyyesss! Mmmmm!"
- ―Yoda, getting his freak on with Chewbacca
- "These young whipper-snappers and their relations! When I was young we'd just divide asexually and be done with it!"
- ―Jango's grandpa, Amoeba Fett
Relations were a biological phenomenon well-known in Star Wars canon but merely conjectured to exist by fanboys. It was inspired by certain emotional and physical reactions felt by individuals as a result of interacting with other, compatible individuals. Relations could only occur if a series of prerequisite circumstances were met; these prerequisites varied from individual to individual and were sufficiently unpredictable to give rise to the phrase "getting lucky" as a euphemism for relations.
A side-effect of having relations was the spawning of new sentients. This helped offset massive casualties incurred as a result of certain other leisure activities that were not entirely wholesome.
Differing views on relations
Jedi frowned upon relations, blaming them for younglings. Sith were clueless about relations except when they involved asphyxiation. Twi'leks were transexuals reputed to be skilled practitioners of relations. Hutts self-combusted.
Literature
Because of the prudish nature of the Jedi, there is little existing literature on relations. One of the surviving books is Watto's Hutta Sutra: A Guide to Mandalorian Relations. But the Mandalorians were prudes too. So it was banned everywhere in the Galaxy. Except Kashyyyk, where the Wookiees used it as a Handbook of Death.
Known practitioners of relations
- "Despite your attitude, you're kinda cute. What do you say huh, your place or mine?"
- ―Han Solo trying to score with Leia just after they escaped from the Death Star
- Kermit came into this galaxy because Yoda had relations with Yaddle
- Luke Skywalker had relations with Mara Jade (pretty damn cool).
- At one point he also had relations with some one else, that was pretty damn disgusting.
- Anakin had relations with Padmé Amidala, I'm sure it was pretty emotional.
- Anakin also had relations with that little bitch and made a lesbian trio with her, Padmé, and Aayla Secura. In addition, he also did it with Riyo Chuchi at the indirect request of Chi Cho.
- Obi-Wan had relations with Asajj Ventress, Satine Kryze and Riyo Chuchi.
- Admiral Natasi Daala had relations with many of her superiors when she wasn't an admiral yet, including Tarkin and Vader.
- Aayla Secura and Grover, they had relations many times and their 199 children were the proof of that. Many Fanboys wish they were Grover but they're too near and he's too far ...
- Wicket Wookie-nookied you, and thought it was goooooooood!!!!
- Yoda apparently had relations with the Wookiees and it was gooooood.
- Obi-Wan had relations with Siri Tachi. That is, until she got PWN3D...
- Boba Fett had relations with Sintas Vel when he was sixteen.
- Darth Krayt enjoyed having relations with his hand.
- Darth Maladi often sucked Krayt's Yorik-Kul dick.
- Leonia Tavira had relations with anyone and everyone under her command.
- I had relations with Yo Mama.
- Guri had relations with every male in the galaxy and it was gooooooooooooooooooooooood....
- Darman had relations with Etain, and ended up with a kid they named Venku.
- Sandy had relations with Teruzen--their daughter was named after what had brought her about: "Lust".
- C-3PO was known for many human-cyborg relations throughout time.
- Your father was known to have flocked to those street corner girls who always want you to take them to those motels.
- Carth Onasi was so whiny and constantly depressed that the only time he ever had relations was with T3-M4, and cried through the whole event. T3 later betrayed him.
