Plif
| |
| Plif | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld | |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender | |
| Height |
Tiny |
| Hair color |
White and pink |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
Rebellion era |
| Affiliation | |
- "Can I please take you to bed with me?"
"Yes, yes, yes, oh my God, yes!" - ―A Zeltron woman and Plif, in Marvel Star Wars comics
Plif was an floppy-eared, telepathic Hoojib from Arbra who eventually became a member of the Rebel Alliance, where he spent most of his time almost getting stepped on and trying to ignore the budding incestuous sexual tension between Luke Skywalker and his sister Princess Leia. When in danger, Plif could use his psionic powers to PWN his enemies with Kamehameha attacks and the Light Hawk Wings.
Plif first encountered the Rebels when they boorishly landed on and claimed his homeworld of Arbra as the site of their next Rebel Base, after they'd lost their last one at Yavin 4. Luke and Leia stepped out of their spaceship, planted the Rebel flag, threw some litter on the ground, and prepared for colonization. They immediately discovered the Hoobjib's caves, filled with geothermal rods, a natural power source that the Rebels could use to power their equipment and X-wing fighters. None of this prompted any suspicion that the world was inhabited by intelligent beings, though. The Hoojibs, unable to communicate with the Rebels, instead swarmed their camp at night and gnawed through their power cables... see, Hoojibs ate power for breakfast. One Hoojib even started nibbling at C-3PO's leg, and you know C-3PO only allows R2-D2 to do that.
Finally, Chewbacca managed to grab Plif by the ears, and the cute little sweetie-pie shocked the Rebels by letting out a string of powerful telepathic curse-thoughts so foul and black that to this day a heavy black cloud of obscenity hangs over the Arbran forest. At once, the Rebels realized their mistake, they'd invaded the Hoojibs' planet, and it was all a terrible misunderstanding. The Rebels helped Plif kill some monsters or something, and the Hoojibs agreed to let the Rebels stay. As long as they got to eat some of their electricity.
Plif aided the Rebel Alliance defeat the Empire and found the Alliance of Free Planets, but that failed because it was designed by hippies. Plif also hung out on Zeltros, the homeworld of the Zeltrons, where he had bizarre, kinky, bestial, telepathic sex with many red-skinned women, including fellow Rebel Alliance member Dani. He also helped fight the weird gangly gothic Nagai when they invaded the galaxy.
After the founding of the New Republic, Plif disappeared from galactic history, because George Lucas thought the very idea of a miniature rabbit becoming a major player in galactic politics would be silly. *cough*
