Link
| |
| Link | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld |
Hyrule |
| Born |
r u a nrd? |
| Died |
u r a nrd! |
| Physical description | |
| Species |
Hylian |
| Gender | |
| Hair color |
blond |
| Personal shit | |
| Butt buddies | |
| Asshole enemies | |
| Weapon |
Master Sword |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
The Era of Pennsylvania |
| Affiliation | |
- "Link, mah boiii, the destruction of this planet is what all great warriors strive for!"
- ―The King, to Link
Link was a male Hylian who worked for The Super Smash Brotherhood. No, he wasn't an elf, because we'll be stuck up like that.
Nerdom
Link was created for the Legend of Zelda video game series. He and the others were discovered by Darth Squidward. Their organization was against planet destruction because Darth Squidward couldn't blow up a planet while his old rival SpongeBob Squarepants could. When not fighting alongside the Brotherhood, Link would spend his days goat herding, attending furry conventions, exploring dungeons just for the hell of it, and fighting his arch-enemy Darth Ganondorf (Darth Vader's cousin and Captain Falcon's father).
Death
The team was led by Mario. It was made up of all boys, but a girl named Samus blew it. The remaining eleven members had to deal with Darth Vader, who spared Pikachu. Link was eager to fight but was beheaded by Vader, making him the first member to be killed. The stormtroopers opened fire on Mario's brother Luigi. Mario then took out a ton of troops while his teammates were all PWN3D by Vader. Darth Vader forced Mario to watch while I impregnated all 4 and 1/2 of his girlfriends. Mario was the last to die because Vader impaled him.
Legacy
Surprisingly enough, Link left a long-lasting legacy when he died, with his mantle taken up by another Link. This would then be taken up by yet another Link, and so on and so forth.
Other appearances
Long before Darth Vader ever had a chance to PWN gay masochistic porn stars, Link starred in Soulcalibur II and did it with Talim. Take that, child molesters! However, ten minutes after news of Link's death came out, Talim admitted that she faked it with Link.
