Jar Jar Binks
| |
| Jar Jar Binks | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld | |
| Born |
Suddenly, Much to his parent's dismay |
| Died |
Promptly, To huge celebration |
| Physical description | |
| Species |
Gungan (Unconfirmed) |
| Gender |
Male (Unconfirmed. Possibly Hermaphroditic). |
| Height |
Slightly shorter than most people |
| Hair color |
None |
| Eye color |
Two Googly things |
| Cybernetics |
|
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
When he lived |
| Affiliation | |
| Known masters | |
| Known apprentices |
None (He smelled too much like bantha poodoo) |
- "Mesa Jar Jar Binks. Mesa obnoxious Jamaican stereotype. Meeeeeeesa so..."
- ―Jar Jar Binks before getting his planet destroyed
- "Oh my God! Have you ever seen him eat? It's disgusting! We used to have to eat together in the Senate cafeteria because we're from the same planet somehow and he'd always be like 'Mesa so happy to see you, Palpy!' with food all running down his mouth and-uh! He's so fucking gross!"
- ―Palpatine on Jar Jar Binks
Jar Jar Binks was the second-first irritating thing in the galaxy. Contrary to popular belief, there was one thing more annoying than him. One thing so annoying that to even hear its name would drive you crazy. One thing so insanity-inducingly annoying that if you carry on reading you'll go insane. Oh, there you go. You're insane now. Anyway, this was that thing.
In a bar, Binks was attacked by some guy who hated him, and in the fight Binks had his thingy crushed. Jar Jar Binks had to replace it with a metal one. He also got completely raped by a speeder one day , but no one ever noticed cause no one really gives two shits. Binks was also famous for his Jamaican stew.
- "WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?!!"
- ―A typical phrase uttered by people to Jar Jar
Also in Episode 3 it is revealed that Jar Jar single-handedly screwed the Jedi. It went down like this:
It gives meesa great pleasures to give all controls of the clone army to Chancellor Palpatine!
"Dumbass"(under his breath)
Yousa say something Palpy?
Oh no, thanks, good job.
Well, now we're an Empire so... kiss my ass, Jar Jar.
Dammits, Palpy, yousa tricked us.
Yeah, Sith do that.
