Hutt

"Hey is that a Hutt, or your gut?"

―Common insult

"The Hutts are noobs"

―Mara Jade

Hutts were morbidly obese slobs that crawled around and ate Womp Rats, frogs, and sexy Twi'leks. They spoke Buttese, and liked to say irrelevant things like "Ho. ho. Ho. Han, my noob, you're my ho."

Biology

They smelled like shit. They were so fat that they could hardly move, the Hutts that did move about rolls of fat went "bump, bump, bump, bump, bump" because they were so fat. They spent most of their time siting because the muscles that push them along get covered in fat, thereby rendered useless, at a young age. They smoked several pounds of marijuana a day, and were always high,which is why their eyes always had a vacant stare. The weed had the reverse effect on the appetite of a Hutt; while marijuana induced hunger in most species, it reduced the desire and need to eat for Hutts. This kept the Hutts massive bodies from crushing themselves due to gravity generated by their fat. They ate food that would make any sentient being puke from the smell or the grotesque appearance. When they didn't eat food that was vomit inducing, they ate sexy Twi'leks while they were dancing. But, what was really disturbing about dem' turds, is that because they were herpaderpphrodites, is that they could be gay, lesbian, and straight by thinking about it. Disturbing, innit?

Society and culture

They liked to build big super weapons with names like "Darksaber" that destroyed planets (they found that sitting on the target planet was more effective). Those below that level of power enjoyed watching people get eaten by Rancors, or eating them on their own. They like to watch nimble Twi'leks dance and do other things only a pervert would be interested in.

History

While the sedentary lifestyle of Hutts caused most of them to die of heart disease at a young age (10-50 years being an average life span for the fat balls of lard); but some went on to establish a criminal empire so they would have other people do their work, freeing up their time for staring at dancing Twi'leks like a pervert.

Common Hutt Facts

The common Hutt is so fat that

• ...they can't use X-wings, they have to use XXL-wings
• ...they don't live on Tatooine, Tatooine lives on them.
• ...they could only fit one into the original trilogy.
• ...they make Jek Porkins look like Yarael Poof.
• ...they make Yo Mama look like Jek Porkins.
• ...they generate their own gravitational pull when they spin around their axis.