Frog-Buster
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| Frog-buster | |
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| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld |
Wherever Ortolans come from |
| Born |
His birthday |
| Died |
Unknown |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender | |
| Height |
Squat |
| Eye color |
Big, googly |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Affiliation | |
The Ortolan simply known as Frog-Buster was a cannibalistic, sadistic, positively insane killing machine, adept at over sixty million forms of combat. Also known as Froggy, he was considered a complete lunatic by nearly all those who came into contact with him, although because they were all brutally murdered by the fat blue-skinned assassin, word never got out of Froggy's apparent mental difficulties. Which was just as well, as those who insulted Froggy usually ended up as mangled, headless corpses, with bits of brains missing, and ribs removed; they were usually used as daggers by Froggy (after the remaining meat had been eaten off them, of course).
With a healthy like for heavy metal music, Frog-Buster drove a TD-21X Chopper, armed with dozens of nuclear missiles. His vast armory included a flamethrower, hundreds of ninja death stars, a slug-thrower and nun-chucks. He also wore jetpack occasionally, which was armed with heat-seeking missiles, and he once made use of a lightsaber. However, his most powerful weapon was his sunglasses, which, when armed, shot jets of laser from tiny weapons at the side, near Froggy's ears.
Frog-Buster blue and round, like most Ortolans, and he wore no clothes, except for his special sunglasses. After reaching his personal goal of slaughtering nine million sentients, Froggy went into retirement, playing golf and tennis with his two former partners—Energizer Bunny and Max. However, thing didn't go well between the trio, culminating in the decapitation of the two lagomorphs. Froggy died aged one hundred and twelve, with six hundred children, all of which he found great delight in tracking down and eating.
Biography
Very little is known about the individual known as Frog-Buster; practically everyone who came into contact with him was either eaten alive, eaten dead, or somewhere between the two. However, historians have hazarded a guess that his real name was Frank Swelterbrain Forgana-rangin Tiiyanwaysha Augiwentina, however no facts confirm or even suggest this. Or any of this article.
Early life on Orto
Froggy was born to Elizabeth Ezmerelda Augiwentina and Ralph Horgan Tiiyanwaysha, and was the youngest of twelve children. As a child, Froggy was quite neglected, and often beaten by his older siblings. Even at such a young age Froggy was developing cannibalistic tendencies—he was expelled from school for digesting a fellow student. However, Froggy's parents paid little heed to these signs, as they were busy in a custody battle. Unwanted at home or at school, Froggy began to fall in with the wrong crowd, and by the time he reached adolescence, he was a very violent, cigar-addicted alcoholic. Yet Froggy's parents paid him little heed; they had finally gotten divorced, and had both already re-married.
Froggy continued on a downslide; at the age of fifteen, he had fathered two children, yet he did not remember their mothers. Although Froggy's parents did not notice his devilish behavior, odd eating habits (Fresh Jawas) and his newly developed twitch, someone else did. The Augiwentina-Tiiyanwayshans had a very old next door neighbor. Yoda (at least that's what he called himself) was quite senile, yet he managed to notice that Froggy wasn't quite right. One Friday afternoon, Yoda called Froggy into his house, offering him live Jawas for lunch. However, once inside, Yoda locked the doors, and told Freddy he had to be a good boy, or Yoda would kill him. (It should be noted that Yoda was having an affair with Froggy's mother, and was also somewhat violent). Froggy refused, and ate Yoda, gulping him down in one bite.
A New Hobby
Froggy loved the taste of flesh so much, that he went into a rage-like trance. He quickly rushed home, went to the shed, and grabbed a shovel. He then went into his living room, where most of his family were watching "Huge Brother", and preceded to viciously murder them all. After biting their lifeless bones bare, Froggy sucked up all the blood, and went upstairs. His sister was tying her shoelace at the top of the stairs; then she wasn't. After eating her brains and one of her legs, he used her to get into the bathroom, where another of his sisters was taking a bath. He beat her to death, then dragged her and his other sister downstairs and stuffed them in the freezer. They'd do nicely if he needed a snack.
Several minutes later Froggy's friends knocked on the door, and invited themselves in. They all went up to his room, while he promised to get them soon booze. Instead, however, he got a chainsaw, and cut his friends into several small pieces. He then ate most of them, leaving some for dinner. Frog-Buster had only just begun his rampage of terror.
Behind the scenes
Frog-Buster was portrayed by William Shatner.
