Force bore to death

"I'm, like, sooooooo totally bored..."

―A Sith student's last words...

Force bore to death was a Dark Side Force power of Eviltude that was commonly attempted by the lowest minions of the Sith, but rarely successful. Only the most incredibly underachieving of the Sith could achieve it. Essentially an innate power of the dark darkness of the Dark Side, it was utilized by the underwhelming achievers of the galaxy, whose only natural talents were to hold utterly meaningless monologues with anyone who would listen. Imbued with the power of the Force, this ability was enhanced to lethal proportions, as the user could easily bore someone to death or even whole planets.

What happens during Force Bore to Death?

A Force bore to death session usually ran like this:

• Dark Side/Eviltude underachiever:"So, Ummmmm... I am evil. I will eat pudding. BWAHAAAHAHAA!!! Look at that cardboard box. Aren't you bored? I can keep this up for days. Ummmmm..."
• Victim/Light Side Jerk:"What's wrong with you?"
• DS/EU:"Ummmmm... I'm evil. I will bore you to death."
• V/LSJ:"Why?"
• DS/EU:"Why? Because I'm so bored out of my skull I need some entertainment and I might as well bore someone else to death."
• V/LSJ:"I'll never give in. Holy Great Mounds of Bantha Poodoo! It's Canderous Ordo!"
• DS/EU:"No, it isn't. You're dreaming. You're bored. Come on, just die and I can go my evil way."
• V/LSJ:"No, really! Oh Sith! By the head of Mandalore the Sufficient! It's KHAAAN!!!"
• DS/EU:"Why do you delay the inevitable? Die, or I will kill you!"
• V/LSJ:"What's the difference?"
• DS/EU:"How should I know? Just die or I'll have to devise a special way to kill you.
• V/LSJ:"I think you're an idiot."

As you can see, it was very boring and not very interesting at all. It was recorded to have been attempted by Cookie Monster, who didn't really achieve it because he ate his victim halfway through the session. Darth Elmo was the only recorded person to have success with this form of eviltudeism on multiple occasions. Regrettably, the Glorious Sith Lord total loser Darth Bob patented it, making many other Sith very displeased.