Fandaloriana

The mighty Fandaloriana is the all-powerful goddess of the Fandalorian people. Her word was written long ago, and is the foundation of the Church of the Fandalorian.

Biography

In the Beginning

Fandaloriana started from humple, I mean humble, beginnings. When she was nineteen, she became a writer and was recruited to write Star Wars books by George Lucas himself, she became his personal apprentice. He was a cruel teacher, he tried to Force her to play nicely with all of his other writers, to pay attention their stories and to not contradict them. He asked her to write of Jedi and the adventures of Luke Skywalker. He turned down her idea to create the Travelerss, an organizations of G*nkists dedicated to discovering the identity of Darth Secret his constant disrespect infuriated her and his discouragement of her first idea was the final straw, she came to hate him. In her rage, she stole his credit card and went to Victoria's Secret to treat herself to a shopping spree.

One day, Lucas hired The Great Organizer to make sure the stories of his authors made sense with each other while he went to Anchorhead! Anchorhead! GO! GO! GO! an undisclosed location to run from debtors. Fandaloriana soon realized that the Organizer cared as little for Master Lucas's storyline as she did. She sweet talked him into letting her write a story about these so-called Mandalorians she had heard her master muttering about. He agreed on the condition that she would marry him and bear him a son. She agreed.

A Congregation is Forged

She began to form the ideas of these armored men ad immediately put in a book submission. The book entitled Star Wars: JEDI MURDERERS G3T PWNED centered around Boba Fett, a clone trooper who was forced to witness the atrocities of the Jedi Order. They mutilated the innocent leaders of the Sith who were just sitting at a table and plotting their next recruitment drive and debating whether to include nuts in cookiees. The book became an instant success and her name bacame known far across the land.

It became particularly popular in the southern United States where fans would invite others to join them for group readings of the book each Saturday. It became a tradition in some families to attend these meetings clad in homemade armor. With the discovery of the internet, these groups became united under one flag. They became the Fandalorians.

The Rise

Fandaloriana and the Organizer were soon married, as per their agreement, and she bore him a daughter. The Organizer was dspleased by this turn of events and soon had 99 other daughters. He lost hope, wouldn't talk to Fandaloria and soon began to plot her demise.

The Organizer assigned his wife hundreds of books to write all due in a single month. He had underestimated his wife's disregard for Canon. She sat at her desk at all times, writing constantly. As word leaked through the Fandalorian ranks as to her condition, they sent an envoy of their finest men to check on her. They set a camera on her, constantly streaming live. As her followers, still reading her word now every Sunday, watched her, they saw a woman on a mission. Her hands moved like lightning, writing faster than humanly possible. This only served to grow her following, though this was primarily due to her belief that chothes were slowing down her writing.

Theories began to surface to explain this miralculous speed. The most prominent was spread far and wide through the congregations of her faithful public. She was obviously a goddess. What other explanation was there? She couldn't possibly be on Death sticks and have drunk five gallons of coffee. These questions would remain confirmed as Fandaloriana was never seen again.

The Great Darkness

Over the years, people went to partys all around the world, got completely wasted, and forgot many things and replaced them with what the Fandalorians said. History became meaningless due to the contradicting tales of the fracturing Fandalorian clansmen, emulating their goddess. All History classes across the world were ceased, to the satisfaction and vindication of many students.

Regroup

With the rise of The United States of Emotica and The Republic of Dumbassery, a third power grew from the dissolved North American Republic. Those who still followed President Ki-Adi-Mando joined together and created Fandaloria in what was Canada and New York. Following the influence of their president, the finished sentences with the sound "jehaatir," much to the annoyance of their neighbors.