Dug

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DugHenning.JPG
Dug
Planet of origin

Malastare

Height of average adult

1 meter

Skin color

Brown, red, weird

Distinctions

Arms and legs mixed up

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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Dug.

Dugs were a strange race of topsy-turvy aliens from Malastare. They walked on their hands, brushed their teeth with their feet, ate breakfast with their eyeballs, watched TV with their armpits, digested food with their brains, and had sex with their elbows.

Perhaps the reason the species ended up so weird was because throughout their ancient and medieval history, Dugs were terrorized by monstrous Zillo Beasts rampaging across the surface of their planet. Architects were very frustrated; every time they built a skyscraper, along came Godzilla-Lite and knocked it down. In order to keep themselves entertained between Godzilla attacks, the Dugs built a lot of racetracks for their podracers. Sebulba was one of their all-star podracers, but he lost like a little bitch to nine-year-old Anakin Skywalker, which just goes to show you how much the entire species sucked.

Other famous Dugs included:

  • Dug Henning
  • Dug Funnie
  • Dug Jones
  • Dug Naylor
  • Dug Stanhope
  • Dug Walker