Dick-Smith Deez Nuts
Dr. Dick-Smith Deez Nuts, born Dick E. Dickerson, was an insane Obese Ubese graduate from Harvard and an overall evil guy.
Biography
The Brotherhood of the Bird
Obsessed with exterminating Parakeets since birth, Deez Nuts formed an alliance with Bob Barker as well as several hunters to take out one of the more well-known Parakeets, Big Bird, leader of the Brotherhood of the Bird. What many people called the "Brotherhood of the Bird Apocolypse", Deez Nuts, Barker and the hunters wiped out the majority of the Brotherhood, including their leader. Capturing Big Bird, Barker strapped him to a table and castrated him violently, as the bird flopped in various directions. After the castration, Dr. Deez Nuts killed Big Bird with a lightsaber. Deez Nuts kept the Bird's guttings for two years to come.
An evil creation
Dr. Dick-Smith Deez Nuts began working on his next project. The doctor realized he could create a being with enough Force power to dominate the Empire single-handedly. He built the machinery needed in exile on Kashyyyk within a matter of weeks. Everything was ready for testing. Using pubic hair from twenty Wookiees and the guttings of the slain Big Bird, the machine created something horribly evil; Wookiee Goldberg. At some point, during the creation of Wookiee, something went wrong. When everything was over, a raging Madclaw! was spit out of the contraption. Having absolutely no Force power, whatsoever, Dr. Deez Nuts was extremely disappointed and tried to exterminate the Madclaw! However, Wookiee wasn't going to give up without a fight. Engaging the doctor in a fierce battle, Wookiee succeeded and escaped, just after giving her creator a Madclaw! bite, making him become a Madclaw!, himself. Wookiee escaped, leaving Nuts to heal alone.
Death
After many years of living alone, the Madclaw! grew more and more insane. Light years away on a distant world, Darth Elmo, former unofficial member of the Brotherhood of the Bird, could feel Deez Nuts inside of him, using the Force. Elmo prepared his secret apprentice, Darth Animal, the Madclaw! son of Wookiee Goldberg, to find and exterminate Deez Nuts. The two, after many days of searching for Deez Nuts, eventually found him hiding in a cave watching the Spice Channel. Upon seeing Animal, the doctor immediately knew he was the son of Wookiee and somewhat of his own grandson. However, he also knew he had to kill the two. Each person grabbed their lightsabers. Unfortunately, Deez Nuts' hands were completely lubed up from earlier, causing the lightsaber to slip and stab the doctor. Elmo and Animal walked off pissed because they traveled light years to just watch some old coot stab himself and die.
Sources
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