Desann
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| Desann (A.K.A: The PIMP GOD) | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld |
The Crib |
| Born |
His first time |
| Died |
He would die but he is too busy being funky |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender | |
| Height |
15 inches with a spike ball at the end. |
| Hair color |
Formerly Afro |
| Eye color |
Kanye West Glasses |
| Personal shit | |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
70's is his favorite |
| Affiliation | |
Desann, otherwise known as Swagger or Michael Jackson or simply The Boss by all his bitches, Lord and Master of all. If you think you are not a bitch to anyone you automatically are wrong, your life is bent to his will and hence in death you shall be bent over. Closest thing to a god other than God. No one can touch his Swagger and it is said to be the power that makes entire suns get hot.
He has lived for almost long as God and was created to be the Overlord Pimp of the Galaxy, controlling everyone's and tapping the asses of the Universe one by one. This guy has a spiked ball lightsaber of a sadistic fetish which he uses to improperly insert into unsuspecting rectums to engage in a sodomy of an un-consenting (and sometimes consenting) nature. He can destroy your planet just by his funk and don't be afraid of anything. He is the wielder of the 6 Sex Toys of Supremacy, with which he created the site of 4chan. As an indicator of sex, He has a Pimp-cane of Power that allows him to peer into the deepest of..... 'holes', basically.
Nearly 65,000 years before Kyle created the Universe, he used the full use of Force pwn to create Desann as the first being. Kyle's reason to create this God of the sexual arts to be the one to continuously fuck the Universe. Kyle however cursed this being to have his genitals have a spike ball at the end, Desann was at first furious and swore vengeance but later forgot as his genitals are usually otherwise "engaged" for him to glance them. He soon fell into a habit for bigger and stronger drugs to stimulate his unending need to get funky, so he found the Valley of the Jedi and snorted the Force Crystals there, but Kyle crushed the now immortal Desann under rocks from a pillar which he remained for 100 years for snorting his stash.
Kyle went on to beat Zombie Jerec to pass the time, during this time Desann's bottom bitch Tavion got the Scepter of Ragnos and made Rosh Penin her apprentice. Desann was disappointed by this story arc, and in rage his dick smashed the pillars, and he flew to Taspir to kill the annoying bitch Rosh Penin. However, Jaden Korr got there first. God greeted Desann as an old friend and sent Jaden to live in another timeline. Desann then left for Korriban, where he proceeded to Swagger through the tombs, which ultimately made every Jedi and Sith very hot until they burst into flames. Upon reaching Ragnos' Tomb, he proceeded to exclaim that this story arc is a worthless piece of crap and bitch-slapped his bottom ho through time and space to an alternate dimension where no one has a dick for Tavion's fat ass
Behind the scenes
Did you know that you can meet Desann's Swagger in Jedi Knight 3 Multiplayer?
Notes and references
    
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