Darth Emo
| |
| Darth Emo | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld | |
| Born |
Sometime between the beginning and the end of the universe. |
| Died |
Three hours after his creation |
| Physical description | |
| Species |
Clone |
| Gender |
She-man |
| Hair color |
Emo Red |
| Eye color |
Emo Red |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Affiliation |
The Emos United |
| Known masters |
The Retards Guide to Being Emo |
| Known apprentices | |
- "I am Darth Emo! And I am an alcoholic."
- ―Darth Emo's last words before death
Darth Emo was a clone of Darth Elmo created by the Jedi using DNA found at Darth Elmo's assassination attempt scene, Elmo's friend Gunter being the perp. Created to fight the Sith and nicknamed "Emo" at creation by Obi-Wan Kenobi it seemed he was destined to be great, except for the fact that he wasn't destined to do much. At about 2 hours after his creation, Darth Emo was told by Jar Jar Binks that he looked funny, causing the clone to turn to the Dark Side, as Jar Jar was friends with the Jedi (sort of; not really). Half an hour later Luke Skywalker said he was ugly and the worst Sith he ever saw. Little did Luke know was that he was about to cause Darth Emo's death. He didn't care, but still... Three hours after creation, Emo overdosed on Lifesabers by swallowing fifteen packets at the same time (including the wrapping!) because of his deep depression caused by Luke. This caused nothing but massive flatulence killing several Jedi trying to stop him. When this didn't work, he remembered he had a lightsaber and stabbed himself, leaving a very large gash. Even that didn't work, so he shot himself in the head. Fortunately, that worked.
Emo's all over the galaxy mourned for him. Two minutes later, they got bored and went back to cutting themselves. The Jedi too mourned, only for their carpet which had blood stains all over it. So they went to Empire and got their new carpet in twenty-four hours or less.
Darth Emo in Popular Culture
Darth Emo's influenced the creation stormtrooper. Palpatine first created the Emotroopers but they ended up killing themselves, so he created the Gothtroopers, but they stayed in their rooms with lights off chanting "Death is Good" over and over again. So in the end, Ol' Papy created the stormtroopers.
Another person Darth Emo influenced is Darth Vader. The Jedi claim that Obi-Won Kenobody cut up Vader, but he was really trying to be like his hero, Darth Emo. He then decided to become Goth because it hurt too much to be Emo. Seconds before death, the ghost of Darth Emo appeared to Darth Vader and told him to tell Luke to let him die so Vader could become a true Emo.
Enragement
After the meeting, Darth Emo's name was considered a curse word among the Jedi... idiots. Mace Windu actually made up the rule, so Emo became really pissed and enraged. So his spirit form took control of Anakin Skywalker and turned him in to Darth Vader to kill Mace Windu with the help of that Gay dude. This was how Darth Emo became Darth Vader's spiritual master role model.
Other Ghostly Acts and Ghostly Death
When Yoda died it wasn't because he was old or sick, it was because Darth Emo ripped out his soul with a rake so it would hurt more. Darth Emo did this because Darth Emo hated the color green, because it was the color of nature, which Darth Emo hated. People always wonder why Qui-Gon Jinn only appeared once after he was a ghost. Well it was because Darth Emo challenged him to a Lifesabre eating contest, and won. So Qui Gon died forever. Then Darth Emo had terrible Heartburn and threw up his ghost heart and his ghostly form died, too.
Resurrection
Darth Emo was resurrected by a secret pupil using the Dark Side to terrorize the universe but was then sat on by a Hutt and died. So he became a ghost again.
Appearances
- The Tale of Darth Emo (First and only appearance)
