Darth Clone of Darth Emo
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| Darth Clone of Darth Emo | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld |
if I told you he would have to kill you...and me |
| Born |
Who gives a G*nk |
| Died |
NEVAH |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender | |
| Height |
8 kriffin' feet bitch |
| Hair color |
Red |
| Eye color |
Black with white pupils |
| Cybernetics |
Left Big Toe |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
????? |
| Affiliation |
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| Known masters |
Ghost of Darth Emo |
| Known apprentices | |
Darth Clone of Darth Emo or Darth Clone started out as a wee clone baby. Then he grew 8 FEET. Anyway, from birth he was a Sith. In fact, that was why he was created. Darth Emo (as a ghost) possessed a Kaminoan to gather up Darth Emo's DNA, so Darth Emo could have a ghostly apprentice who wasn't some whiny brat with a metal suit. The Kaminoan, named Jax Pavan, used Emo's DNA to create a clone and for 6-8 weeks the clone Emo grew. Then he, with a wave of Force energy, blasted himself out of the cloning chamber. And thus, Darth Clone of Darth Emo was born.
For years he would ravage the galaxy, destroy planets, make movies, kill Jedi, kill Sith, and complete tasks for his master and others.
Early Life
As I said before, Darth Clone of Darth Emo was a Sith from birth. Luckily he wasn't emo and didn't kill himself. Although, he did cut off his big toe when he dropped his double-bladed lightsaber. The first thing he did was kill the Kaminoan that cloned him. Then he went to Korriban to study the Sith side of the Force. While he was there he was also being taught by the Ghost of Darth Emo.
The Great -Ipedia Purge
The Holocron
While studying on Korriban, Darth Clone of Darth Emo discovered Darth Ipedia's holocron and blog, and decided to destroy all unworthy online encyclopedias. With one Force blast, he destroyed 8752 online encyclopedias. He became feared by all online encyclopedias, except for Darthipedia, which he made his home. With guidance from the Ghost of Darth Emo he destroyed many more. He spared the mother encyclopedia, Wikipedia because it actually had some valuable info.
The Survivor
The only wiki that survived the Purge that wasn't liked by Darth Clone of Darth Emo was Wookieepedia. It worshipped Jedi like Yoda, Luke Skywalker, and that whiny brat that was the worst Jedi and Sith ever. Darth Clone of Darth Emo thought they had grown too powerful so he decided it would be his life's quest to stop them. But first, he had to go on a quest at the request of his master: kill all the enemies of Darth Emo, the ones who could not be killed from the Spirit World.
    
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A Master's Quest
Darth Clone of Darth Emo had to kill three of living enemies of Darth Emo: Jar Jar Binks, Luke "Wormie" Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Jar Jar Binks
This one was particularly easy. Since all he had to do was get his speeder really high and drunk so she would go rape Jar Jar, because he had a metal toy. Contrary to popular belief, the speeder was Clone's, not Jedi Master Windu's. It was believed to have been Windu's because of Windu's hatred of Binks.
For examples of this hatred, look here and here
Wormie
This one was a little harder, because Wormie would get killed, then be brought back to life to die again. So Darth Clone of Darth Emo brought Wormie back to life just so he could kill him. Easy as Ewok Pie.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Darth Clone of Darth Emo found Kenobi in a bar complaining about prices of a barrel of vodka.
- Obi-Wan: "2 cents for a barrel of Vodka! Outrageous!"
- Bartender: "Look I have twenty kids and a sick wife to take care of. 2 cents is as low as I go!"
- Obi-Wan: "'FINE!'"
- — Obi Wan arguing over Vodka prices[[|[src]]]
Obi-Wan then stole the barrel and cut off the bartender's head. Clone poisoned the barrel, but Kenobi had too much alcohol in him, so he didn't die from the poison, only from kidney failure from the alcohol. It was good enough for Clone.
His master's quest was done.
The Great War
After he completed his master's quest, Darth Clone decided to continue a quest Darth Ipedia started and that he continued and would end. He would destroy all unworthy online encyclopedias. He had succeeded, but one escaped his grasp, Wookieepedia. The war was long and fierce. Infamous leaders such as Riffysyphon and WhiteBoy were leading Wookieepedia. First, Darth Clone of Darth Emo planned his attack from his secret hideout on the moon of Google.
The Attacks
He would lead in a group of Wookiees (Oh, the irony!) to sabotage the Wookieepedia home page. The date, by our reckoning, was April 1, 2007. He and his band of Wookiees sabotaged the homepage so it would seem the site worshipped the Darthipedian God, Kyle Katarn. Unfortunately, The Wookieepedian leaders covered it up as a joke. Then they planned retaliation. They sabotaged the Darthipedian home page for four days from April 1-4 2008. They made Darth Main Page look like a Wookieepedian. This enraged Darth Clone of Darth Emo. Darth Clone of Darth Emo went to Wookieepedia and turned their home page completely into the Aurebesh language. But unfortunately it only lasted one day because Allies of Wookieepedia pooled their resources to put Wookieepedia back online.
Peace
On May 30, 2008 Darthipedia ended the war by signing a peace treaty and making a official friendship. Darth Clone of Darth Emo was disappointed; he wanted to be slaughter the unworthy but wasn't allowed to. So he decided to destroy the Star Wars Fanon Wiki. But they were too powerful, so Darth Clone of Darth Emo would leave them alone...For now.
Road to Becoming Sith Mega-Super-Overlord
Darth Clone of Darth Emo had become a Sith Lord as promoted by Darth Emo, but that wasn't enough. Darth Clone of Darth Emo wanted POWAH, so he needed to become a Sith Mega-Super-Overlord. But first, he had to do a few things.
- Change his name because it was getting to long
- Find an apprentice
- Destroy Six more planets
- Duel a rival Sith Lord to the Death
- and kill a Jedi Master
The test was set.
The Changing of Name
This may have been the hardest season...I mean, challenge out of all. In the end you voted...I mean Darth Clone of Darth Emo chose...Darth Clone! Now can I get the finalists up on the stage to sing a song together...I mean...I better just shut up now...
Destroy Six More Planets
Easily the easiest one, that is why Darth Clone chose it before the harder tests. He blew up Fandalore, Earth the useless planet, Canada, Midget (just to piss off Darth Small) and then two others that were never recorded.
Dueling a Sith Lord
The choice was made, Darth Clone would duel Darth Duro for his crime of killing the Sith Mega-Super-Overlord Darth Elmo. Darth Clone took this challenge personally. He felt Darth Elmo was his grandfather as Darth Elmo's DNA created Darth Emo, and Darth Emo's DNA created him. So Darth Clone was pissed off when he heard some Nimrod killed Darth Elmo. Darth Duro was a formidable opponent so Clone prepared well. He thought if this bastard killed Elmo then he must be good. The truth is was that Duro snuck up on Elmo and killed him like a coward. That's why it took two seconds for Darth Clone to completely PWN Duro and kill him. Darth Clone was confused, because right before death, Duro started screaming something about an alternate ending. Clone just thought he was crazy.
Darth Emo then promoted Darth Clone to Sith Overlord. But the test was far from over.
Coming soon
Coming Soon to a Darthipedian Article about Darth Clone near you, the rest of the story!
Its Here
The Continuation of Darth Clone's story is here! Read on!
The Prophecy
After killing Darth Duro, Darth Clone decided to kill a Jedi Master. But who? There weren't many left. Most had been killed by other Sith Lords and Darth Clone was one of the newer Sith. So he went to Grover, the last living member of the Sesame Street Gang. Three had commited suicide, two had been murdered, and one was missing. So Clone went to Grover. Grover welcomed Clone as a friend, and after a few minutes of small talk, Grover made a prophecy. For Clone to become a Sith Mega-Super-Overlord, he would have to kill Kit Fisto. Some say this was because Fisto stalked Grover's wife, Aayla Secura, but is a myth. After this, Darth Clone would always return to Grover for advice.
Kit Fisto
Kit Fisto had been killed once already (Palpatine chopped it off), but his head regrew. So Clone went to kill him. Clone tracked him down to the lower levels of Coruscant in an empty apartment staring at a blank computer screen, with the help of Boba Fett. They had traveled to two planets, Fisto's home world, Rastafar and Coruscant. When they arrived on Coruscant, they asked around. No one knew anyone named Fisto. But one guy, had heard of a maniac who lived on the lower levels of Coruscant and stared at a computer screen. Apparently, the maniac also muttered something like "I'll find you Aly" or "Secura will be my savior". Clone and Fett decided to check it out. When they found out the maniac was Fisto, Fett left. Below is a brief explanation of why Fisto was where he was when Clone found him: When Fisto died for the first time, Aayla and Grover moved to a different address then they did when Kit died. This was because Kit was obsessive over Aayla and wanted to enjoy time with her. So when Kit came back to life he centered his whole life on finding Aayla. So he decided to look her up on the internet. He spent weeks looking her name up on the internet. Then he forgot to pay electricity bills and his power went off. So he spent the next twenty years clicking randomly and staring at a blank screen. Yes he was very obssesive. Clone challenged Fisto to a Lightsaber duel. He agreed, on certain terms.
- Clone would have to give up the location of Aayla Secura
- Darth Clone would have to give up his penis if he was defeated. Fisto's was cut off buy Palpatine.
Clone agreed to the terms and the battle had begun. Darth Clone tried to use Force choke on Kit, but it didn't work. Fisto's tentacly dreads absorbed the Force attack and then launched a Force fart, which Fisto was particularly good at. Clone used a Force push to waft the smell away, then lunged at Fisto with a flurry of lightsaber attacks. Fisto had trouble blocking the attacks and received many deep cuts. Next, with a blast of Force lightning, Clone brought Fisto to his knees. Instead of chopping of Fisto's head, Clone stabbed Kit in the neck and chest, and fed him to a rancor. Thus Darth Clone became a Sith Super-Overlord, but the quest was still far from over (sorta).
The Apprentice
Darth Clone decided to go on TV to help find an apprentice. So he went on to a reality show where people compete to become an Apprentice. Unfortunately for the contestants, it was a competition for a stock broker or something, so Darth Clone killed the contestants, cast, and crew. It is known as the great CCC massacre.
The Sith Apprentice
After the incident at the game show, Darth Clone headed to Mandalore, partly to find an apprentice, partly to get away from the authorities. Anyway, Sith Mandalorians are awesome Sith, so if Darth Clone could find one it would be great. He was in a bar when he saw some kids playing a card game outside. One kid lost and got really pissed. All the other kids died without the losing kid doing anything. This kid, John Hancock, was to be his apprentice. He was a powerful Force use and had an extremely high midi-chlorian count. After some training, the child became a teenager and was named Darth Hancock
Darth Clone had become a Sith Mega-Super-Overlord.
The Empire
As any Sith would do, Darth Clone created a Empire. He took over planets, destroyed planets, terrorized the galaxy, had sex, and yada yada yada, the basic Sith stuff. Then he saw his first movie. He was inspired. So he went to Hollywood and sold his Empire to the Wookiees so they could be the all-powerful rulers for once. The Wookiee-Nookiee rate went so high that there were more madclaw than Jax Pavans. (The Madclaws were almost immediately stopped and the Jax Pavans got control of the galaxy again.)
Darth Pictures
Clone went to Darth Pictures to make a movie about his life so far. It was too be called, The Life of Darth Clone:Up to the Coming of a Sith Mega-Super-Overlord. He hired an all-star cast and the movie was an instant success. Darth Lucas appointed Clone as a Vice President of the company.
The Second Apprentice
While working with Darth Pictures, Clone met a out of work actor named Kong. Kong had made three movies, and no one wanted him anymore. He had some Force potential and could crush people with his pinky finger, so Clone gave him a job at Sith Happens Condom and Pregnancy Test Emporium.
