Darth Chef
| |
| Darth Chef | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld | |
| Born |
Unknown |
| Died |
Slice happened... |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender | |
| Height |
Average |
| Hair color |
Black |
| Eye color |
Brown |
| Cybernetics |
Two-thirds of his body |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
Rise of the Slice |
| Affiliation | |
| Known masters | |
| Known apprentices | |
- "Do you want some Chocolate Salty Balls, kid?"
"You mean like a chocolate candy?"
"No, I mean MY BALLS!" - ―Darth Chef and some random kid
Darth Chef, born Jerome McElroy[1] was a Sith Overlord and a member of the Intergalactic Guild of Evil Bakers. After a pathetic tragic accident, he was found by some freaks and turned into a Darth Vader look-alike. Later, he was taught by a twisted baker with a funny accent at the Sith Academy of Culinary Arts. He was the founder of Darth Bar, owner of catering emporium in Mos Eisley and Sith Master of the enormous, infamous Darth Fat Guy. His reign of terror and lethal junk food ended after an epic duel (known also as The Epic Duel) with Darth Slice, Dark Lord of the Butter. His greatest contribution to the Sith community was the creation of the Rule of Stew.
He used a red lightspatula in battle and knew the dark arts of Sith cuisine. His most known specials were DarkLord-Burgers and Chocolate Salty Balls.
Biography
Rising
Little is known about Chef's earlier life. He had an accident when climbing on some weird, crying mountain and was brutally massacred by local animals. His remains were found by a group of freaks, who restored him to life and changed him into mentally unstable "Darth" Chef[1]. He wandered throughout the galaxy and was found by Darth Baker on the planet Nar Shadada, where he was tormenting local children with his "Chocolate Salty Balls". The Swedish chef promptly took him as an apprentice[1].
Sith Academy of Culinary Arts
Darth Baker wanted to know exactly how strong his new apprentice was. Thus, he prepared a test for him. He had told Chef to stay in a big room and wait for him, then he left it and sealed it's gate. Then, dozens of battle droids filled the room and opened fire. As they were firing at Chef simultaneously, he was able to deflect their shots with his red lightspatula. Cornered by the robots, he had to find a way to destroy them quickly. At first, he tried with Force wave, but his telekinetic skills allowed him only to move such items like cutlery and various ingredients. Nothing happened. Then, Chef tried with Force lightning, but as he was a cyborg himself, he electrocuted himself instead. As this happened, anger rapidly empowered him. His stomach began rumbling and suddenly a powerful wave of horrible smelling air released from his fat rear. All droids became incapacitated. In this way Darth Chef discovered his most powerful technique, which would cause the deaths of hundreds of people throughout the galaxy[2].
Darth Baker was so delighted by his new "apprenteezez" power that he baked for him hash cookies and officially gave him the title Darth Chef, making him a Sith Lord.
During the years that followed that test, Chef learned the ways of Sith cuisine. He invented a few signature meals, such as DarkLord-Burger, Hoth-Dog and Cheese Lightsticks.
Career as a Dark Baker
After a few years of learning, Darth Chef had abandoned the Academy and started working solo. He was the founder of Darth Bar[1], located in some filthy village on some dusty planet. He sold his Dark Side-fueled meals to pirates, gamblers and murderers, which degenerated them into mindless zombies. Hippies tried to stop the mad cooker before he could turn the entire population into monsters (like they weren't them before), but Darth Chef misunderstood their motives. Thinking that they were criticizing his food, he went berserk and wiped them out.
Once he was ordered by Darth Darth Binks[3] to destroy one swampy planet. Chef had baked a special bread, which was getting bigger and bigger as the time progressed. The Sith Baker had left the planet just before the enormous bread reached critical mass and exploded. After completing this task, Darth Chef was given the title of the Sith Overlord[3].
Becoming Rich
After destroying his first planet, Darth Chef returned to his beloved bar. He signed a contract with Darth Jawa, which permitted him to sell Jawa Juice[4]. Darth Bar's profits increased GREATLY. Within few months Chef destroyed overwhelmed his competition and monopolized the catering market in Mos Eisley.
Later in his life he participated in the Dark Lord of the Cook competition. Some of the other competitors were: Jemima Butterworth, The Evil Baker and Nigella Lawson. The Sith Baker prepared his signature meal, the Bantha steak DarkLord-Burger. Fearing his punishment, the judges decided that Darth Chef won the competition. He was given the honorary title of the Dark Lord of the Cook and several other minor prizes, including Laser Meat Grinder and nuclear oven[4].
Sith Apprentice
Having established a planet-spanning restaurant chain and having earned a fortune, Darth Chef became bored. He started to travel around the Galaxy, from time to time giving a break to loosen up and causing minor panic on many worlds. During this time he visited Alderaan, when he found his soon-to-be Sith Apprentice, a Fat Guy. Impressed[4] by the pure evil inside his fat, he promptly took him as an apprentice.
- "You mean I get to sit around and eat stuff for free?"
- ―The Fat Guy
Then, the training started. For the next few years, Fat Guy was constantly eating and eating in Burrito King, gaining more and more weight and becoming significantly stronger. Once, he had emitted a lot of gas[2], which lead to a lot of people being killed and amused his Master. Chef learned him some other techniques, including the infamous ways of Force Dancing. Fat Guy had grown giant breasts, which were discovered to squirt very corrosive acid[2]. Dark Baker trained him also in lightsaber combat, using a specialized, knife-like version created by Chef himself. Finally, the training was over. The Sith Baker announced Fat Guy the Darth Fat Guy.
Darth Chef sent his new apprentice on numerous missions. The first one was to capture a Jedi Master, hiding on planet Hoth. After successfully accomplishing the task, Darth Fat Guy was promoted to the rank of Sith Lord[2].
His powerful student finished numerous missions and killed aquitrillions of Jedi, Younglings, innocent people and innocent creatures. His power growing, he founded the Burrito Gauntlet and conquered planet Delekh.
Darth Chef became very anxious. Fearing the inevitable treachery, he sent Darth Fat Guy on one last mission: to get lava from Mustafar, needed to power up Dark Baker's oven[4]. There, the extreme heat gradually melted his fat, killing him. Darth Chef was relieved, but also somewhat sad[4], because he lost the only man who he was treating like a son. Normally treating.
Chef had ceased his galaxy travel and returned to the Darth Bar.
The Epic Duel
When Darth Slice, the bready Sith defeated his creator[5], he started looking for Darth Chef. Brediee hated him, because he was the pupil of Baker and gained most of his attention. Finally, Slice tracked him and his Butter Star arrived in the Tatooine's orbit. Butter Lord send his baked forces to infiltrate Darth Bar.
Bready soldiers attacked the bar[5]. At first, patrons were astonished. Although, after a short moment of panic they drew their blasters. The Battle of the Darth Bar started. Darth Chef had sabered a dozen of bready warriors before Darth Slice revealed himself. The two Sith engaged into a fierce, epic duel[5]. Darth Chef proved to be a formidable opponent, but with his Force fart being useless, he could not kill his opponent quickly. As Darth Slice was the stronger of the two fighting, he slowly gained the upper hand. Suddenly, Slice butterocute'd Chef. The Dark Baker did not die; he was able to stand up, but shortly after Brediee chopped him into tiny bits. Darth Chef was no more - he was dead[5]. Again. The end...For now.
Personality and traits
- "I found your lack of taste disturbin'."
- ―Darth Chef, choking his ungrateful customer
Darth Chef was once a kind, middle-aged guy. However, after his demise and transformation into Sith, he became one of the most feared bakers in the galaxy, second only to the infamous Darth Baker, his Master. He changed into a bad-tempered, impulsive freak cooking his meals with furious obsession.
Darth Chef tended to be unkind to the people who found his food inedible and punished them for their lack of respect[1][2][4].
He also LOVED small kids. **cough** He's watching...
Powers and abilities
Darth Chef was taught by Darth Baker some necessary Force powers, including Force butterocute, Force slice a bread, and one of his most powerful techniques, Force fart. He was also skilled in lightsaber combat. Many displeased customers fell to his glowing lightspatula.
He also once baked constantly growing, enormous bread, which blew apart whole planet after reaching critical mass[3].
Appearances
- Cookers of Evil (First Appearance)
- The Story of Darth Darth Binks
- The Face of Idiocy: A Book About that White Blob (Mentioned only)
- Aunt Jemima Butterworth and the Syrup Factory (Appears in hologram)
- Darth Fat Guy: The Movie
- Revenge of the Slice
Sources
- Ranks of the Sith
- The Pop-up Encyclopedia of Sith Lords
- Darth Chef's Personal Diary
- Burrito King's official website
External Links
Notes and references
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 Cookers of Evil Cite error: Invalid
<ref>tag; name "Cookers of Evil" defined multiple times with different content Cite error: Invalid<ref>tag; name "Cookers of Evil" defined multiple times with different content - ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 Darth Fat Guy: The Movie
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 The Story of Darth Darth Binks
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 4.5 Darth Chef's Personal Diary
- ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 Revenge of the Slice
