Dan Eardornn
| |
| Dan in his Halloween costume. Dan Eardornn Dan Earwax | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Born |
When you put two people in the same room together, and they're sucky slavers... |
| Died |
The day the cat who scratched him bit his throat out |
| Physical description | |
| Species |
Human |
| Gender |
Male |
| Hair color |
Black |
| Eye color |
Weird |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Affiliation |
|
- "The man's got the heart of a droid and the mind of a Muun. Wait, what the hell does that mean?!"
- ―Some guy
- "You're my bitch now."
- ―One of Dan's many escaped slaves attacking him
- "If life were a game, I lost a long time ago."
- ―Eardornn, on himself
Dan Eardornn, often known as Dan Earwax, was the suckiest slaver in the galaxy. When he caught slaves, they usually escaped within five minutes, then attacked him. Some even raped him.
Biography
Early Life
- "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
- ―Dan, crying
Dan's life was a total tragedy, like something you'd see on Days of Our Lives. He was constantly raped by gypsies, and he had to live on the streets when his mom went to bars. He ended up becoming a gangbanger and often committed crimes for his fellow gangstas. Dan and his buddies killed some Jedi, which pissed off even more Jedi. Dan ended up going into hiding for awhile, but when the Jedi caught up to him, they had a cat scratch his face.
Oh Noes Black Sun
Dan spent some some time with the Black Sun, a retarded company led by a Clawdite-thingy with a small wiener. They began to battle a rival company called Bethalkhaskjnckjfdigfpifg Inc., led by a fat slut Hutt.
