Cookie Monster
| |
| Cookie Monster (aka Alistair Cookie) | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld |
Coruscant underworld |
| Born |
Unknown |
| Died |
Unknown |
| Physical description | |
| Species |
Muppetian |
| Gender |
Male (unconfirmed) |
| Height |
1.2 meters |
| Hair color |
Blue. Duh. |
| Eye color |
Big, googly |
| Cybernetics |
|
| Chronological and political information | |
| Affiliation | |
| Known masters | |
- "Cookies, unlimited Cookies!"
- ―Cookie Monster
Cookie Monster was an especially bloodthirsty member of the notoriously evil organization known universally as Sesame Street. He was a cannibal, which did not appeal to Darth Elmo. He was such a glutton, not even the gigantic Ernie would hang out with him. He would frequently fight over food with Baby Bear. He was so evil, he ate everybody who was an enemy of Sesame Street. He was notoriously known for devouring the remnants of the old Whiny Bitch Club for shooting him and Darth Elmo. No enemy of Cookie Monster survived long, as the painful gruesome death awaited them.Cookie Monster participated on many of the Evil Sesame Street events. He was like a miniature rancor. No one, not even Darth Darth Binks knew how such an evil entity could exist. Some believe he was created on Korriban, but in fact he had a messed up childhood. For little kids sake. DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT.
Biography
Childhood
- "C is for Cookie, Cookie is for me!"
- ―Cookie Monster
Cookie Monster's childhood is considered the kind of childhood not to be discussed. When he was born he was a perfect puppet, but at age 5 he (Deleted for the sake of humanity) his mother, then ate her. After discovering the good taste of blood, he ate his entire family, thinking they were cookies. The Monster Family was never seen again, and Cookie Monster was running wild on the streets. At night he would kidnap children, then messily devour them. Soon, Darth Elmo, a member of Sesame Street broke his will and had him in the gang. As payment he would get a child a week. And after every Sunday he would look very bloody.
Growing up
Cookie Monster's appetite grew, and started eating adults. Under the command of Darth Elmo, he wiped out an entire race, and his tummy was satisfied. Then he joined Sesame Street in the Planet Destruction Business. If cookie monster had the opportunity, he would eat an entire planet just to get its core, which had a cookie!
Sesame Street: first mission
Sesame Street's first mission was to travel to Dantooiine VII and destroy the planet, killing all Dantooiinians on the world and possibly wiping out the entire species. As the mission was go, Daantooiine VII was destroyed, leaving only breadcrumb-sized chunks of the planet behind. Upon returning home, Darth Small rewarded the team by giving them all a bag filled with cookies... small cookies, of course. Cookie Monster was dissatisfied, say if he did not get enough Cookies, he would eat Darth Small. Cookie Monster got his huge cookie and then went on with his business
When the other Sith Lords heard of the destruction of Dantooiine VII, they all wanted to hire Sesame Street, as well. But only few were lucky enough to be able to pay them. After the cookie incident, Darth Elmo decided that they would tell any future clients to pay before destruction; this meant that they would be able to decide if they were going to destroy the planet or not after they got paid. He also said he would unleash cookie Monster on them all if they did not pay. Cookie Monster's Appetite grew, but Darth Elmo commanded him to stay, for he was saving his appetite for a special occasion.
Kermit
While on a mission to Nar Shaddaa, Sesame Street's leader walked into a cantina where he met a young Frog named Kermit. At first, Elmo didn't think much of the boy. This changed when Kermit killed five Twi'lek in a bar fight. What Elmo didn't realize was that another frog had done the damage as Kermit was far too wimpy. Elmo accepted Kermit into the Sesame Street ranks in an unwise move. Cookie Monster distrusted Kermit, but Elmo dismissed this. Kermit joined Sesame Street, but he was kicked out only two days later because he failed to destroy a single planet. While dealing with Kermit, Elmo felt a great disturbance in the Force light years away. At that exact moment, members of Elmo's religion, the Brotherhood of the Bird, were being slaughtered by Dr. Dick-Smith Deez Nuts and Emperor Bob Barker. Elmo wanted to join his lord, Big Bird, in fighting these rebels, but instead stayed to further deal with Kermit in a move that Elmo would later regret. Because of this decision, the Brotherhood was killed off entirely. Darth Elmo, in denial, blamed Kermit for the death of his lord. He did everything in his power to kill the frog, just before Kermit escaped. The red Sith devoted all of his power to kill Kermit eventually. He sent Cookie Monster on a mission to eat him, and cookie monster's appetite was appeased, for now at least
Working for Binks
On their next mission, the group was to destroy another planet. When they tried to destroy said planet, they unexpectedly failed. The reason for this was because Cookie Monster had tried to save the group money by using cheap detonators, the result being failed planet destruction. Darth Elmo furiously killed the suppliers. Sesame Street thought they would never be hired to destroy a planet ever again. Several months after being unemployed, Darth Elmo re-assembled the group for an offer they couldn't refuse. Darth Darth Binks, a Sith Mega-Super-Overlord hired Sesame Street on the spot and wanted them to become his private planet destruction team.
Over the next few months, the team destroyed many planets for Darth Darth Binks and sometimes were also allowed to destroy a planet just for fun. Binks paid them with many big cookies, unlike Darth Small, and also rewarded them by giving them their own frigate, the Sesame Street Frigate. One of the planets they destroyed for Lord Binks was Xantago XVVIII, which was presumed to be an uninhabited planet but Darth Elmo had discovered that one of Darth Darth Binks' enemies had built a base on the planet which meant it was indeed inhabited. When Darth Elmo told Darth Darth Binks about this, the Sith Lord ordered the immediate destruction of the planet. Darth Elmo planned the destruction carefully: he told Ernie to prepare the explosives while they traveled to Xantago XVVIII. Once they got to the planet, Ernie piloted their ship, Bert placed the explosives, and the other members killed anyone that tried to stop them. When they were beginning to get overwhelmed, Cookie Monster unleashed his fury and ate every single enemy left. When Elmo saw this, Cookie Monster was rewarded with... well, a big giant Cookie
Elmo's revenge
Sesame Street was going to get some new and pimped guns when they were shot at by Whiny bitchy gang members. Furious at this treachery, Cookie Monster was sent to messily devour every whiny emo bitch in the Galaxy. Nobody was safe. Eventually the whiny bitch club was cleaned from the galaxy. Yay! I guess that is what Darth Elmo was saving cookie monster for!
Death
Not long after Darth Elmo's death, Cookie Monster was contracted with stomach cancer. Apparently, he had eaten a radioactive cookie. Bert did not want a Puppet with cancer in their organization, so Ernie shoved a grenade up his mouth. BLAMMO! The cannibal Puppet was dead, and his body parts were sprewn all over the floor. The remaining Sesame Street members then cremated him, at a distance.
