Chocolate Rain (As Performed by the Talents of Chad Vader)
"Chocolate Rain," performed by the talents of Chad Vader was a song performed by the talents of Chad Vader; DUH!
The horrible lyrics of this song caused everyone to listen to it, or else they would have had their, well, you know... This allowed it to become #1 on the charts for 500,000 years, gaining "popularity" all this time until it became so old they had to discontinue it on account of the "fairness" policy.
Here are the lyrics to this "song". If you want to edit them out so that the horribleness does not kill you, please feel free to do so. Seriously, DO IT NOW!!!!!!
Lyrics
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I edited you, someone do the same ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what's that smell, it smells like you and lame ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, feel the powah of my choking insane ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what the fuck's the next line in this dang ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I'm singing in the chocolate rain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, this song pisses me off like the original one and ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, fail me one more time and feel the rage ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I'm altering the deal, pray I don't do it again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, feel my magic powah hurricane ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, death just came and rang the doorbell again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, feel the lameness of this lamey lame ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I am your father! ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, this song cracks me up like novacaine ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, is it even a wonder I'm high on cocaine ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I feel weak, want to get up again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, hands are tired from playing this verse again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, never mind me, go back, and do your thing ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, ventilator's giving me some pain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, do you want to feel my wrath again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, yo momma's as fat as Jabba, she's got problems man ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, she fell into a volcano, with no more dang ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, had to get her out with a 50-foot crane ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, uh, chocolate rain ♫
♫ ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, yeah, yeah, hit the road you son of a bitch-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, feel the heat, feel it again, again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, join me, rule the galaxy with me and ordain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, damnit song, just end already fuck it-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what the hell is chocolate rain anyway ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, who knows why TFU is a game ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, who commissioned you to fly this thing ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, damnit Luke, you did it again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Internet crazes suck as you have seen ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, New Year's Day, it's time to celebrate ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, brother landed Padmé, damn you dang ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, let's hope this is the end, ha, faked you out again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, feel the effect of my super brain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, destroy your planet I will do again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, who would ever want to be your date ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, all this breathing makes me hate to say ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, restraining orders have no effect, you dang ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, underestimate the Force and I will crush your windpipe hey ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, crappy article but it causes pain so ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, do you want to hear it again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, PWNG3UINOP89009273954847503580ING is too much fun so be more tame ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, James Earl Jones couldn't do better, hey ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, muy bombad powah of the Sithies, yay ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what the heck, I have to do it again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, you don't know how hard it is to think verses off the top of your head-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, if this is a hit, I had a bet with Oprah that she'd, well, you know-ain... ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, how much more lame can I get anyway ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, the experts say obsession is okay ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, take it from a Dark Lord of the Sith, okay ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, now I say, isn't that the dumbest name ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, who cares if I clog the whole drain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, blamesociety.net is a fake name ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I always wondered what happened to my mother when I left her with them ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, mass hysteria takes over again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, pausing's giving me a headache ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, conceived by Darth Plagueis, disturbing, eh ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, whoever wants me, dial 988 ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I always thought Harrison Ford was double dealing-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, can't think of anything, hang on a second-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, Snakes on a Plane, Samuel Jackson, what more can I say ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, holiday specials are for hippies and ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, damnit, don't you ever, ever end ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, G4TV takes the fun out of all video games ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Karen Traviss *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* Spongebob Squarepants-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, repeating verses sucks, who does that anyway ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, if you hate this song, I feel your pain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I used to love chocolate; now, well, you know... ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Darth Elmo's nothing compared to the death-inducingness of this dang ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, doesn't anybody feel the pain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, microphone is starting to irritate ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, this entire article's going down the drain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, cliche, cliche, cliche, more cliche ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Fandalorians beware the rain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, step outside, on second thought, play video games ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I hate this song and it hates everyday ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Supergeeky1, save the article, yay ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I'm allergic to the Jedi, hooray ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, geeks of all ages come read this painful-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, strike me down, claim your refund today ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Admiral, you came too close to the system again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, that baby's as ugly as yo momma, lame ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, error 412, damnit work again you fax machine-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, what is thy bidding thy stupid dazed ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, not afraid, you will be, you will be-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, I searched my feelings--all of them ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, yes it is awesome; oh boy, clean that place ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I spy on everybody everyday ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, there's something alive in here, feeling pretty strange ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, RACCOON, what the fuck is it today ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, guy on meat I suggest you walk away ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, Clint hates you, no shit, ghost of refrain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, yeah sure, she saved a lot, now I'm going to walk away ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, you're doomed, doomed, doomed, oh, this is bullshit again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, ran out of Wikiquotes to use, oh dang ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, day shift manager job sucks anyway ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, all fandom is crappy in the rain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, did I mention this song's lame with a pain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, I must eat your brain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, running out of stuff to sing about-ain ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, Lionel stop asking the speed of light question again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, hopefully it's the end, hah, psyched again ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, feel free to edit this to make it more lame ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *breathes*, chocolate rain, *pauses*, chocolate raaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, oh God please save me from ... ♫
♫ Chocolate rain, *pauses*, the final verse is up next, can't stand the pain ♫
♫ Feeling pain,♫ *breathes*,aw forget this crap...
After the Initial Song
At this point in the song, Chad fell to the ground, unconscious.
Instead of having a negative effect on people because of its longevity and lameness, the song instead had a positive effect; there are too many fanboys in this world anymore. So whenever you hear a song on the radio, thank Chad Vader for making Americans love music again. And thank him for American Idol; wait, no not really. But anyway, just get out of here. That is, unless you want to read another fifteen pages of verses and listen to the better-than-James-Earl-Jones'-Darth-Vader-voice of that guy who makes Chad's voice again; are names really important anyway?
It was later discovered that this song was actually the greatest superweapon evah in the galaxy's history; even more powerful than the Death Star (even though most things were). Fear of another song from Chad took hold of every citizen of the galaxy, forcing them listen to this one or else, explaining why they listened to the song in the first place.
Behind the Scenes and Trivia
Chad Vader IS Steve Perry!
Henry Fonda provided the voice of Chad, while John Wayne wore the suit in an ill-carried-out parody of the song. When the real Chad Vader (Perry!) found out about this, he used his original "Chocolate Rain" song to completely wipe them out...both of them. And you wonder why there's no more Westerns!
Chad spelled backwards is Dahc; this is possibly a clue to the location of Darth Krayt's mother's third cousin's fifty-times-removed frying pan! How exciting!
George Lucas named the song, and Chad Vader, after his cousin's cat. DUH!
Chad means Iuopiertyzonia in Juipoaoiaerioaaeraggahirejtiogkjccajfdoaurjf.
This article is a parody of a parody of a song. Psyche!
Chad Vader (Perry!) took a rap course in college; no wonder he's so good!
Finally, no Gungans were hurt in the making of this song. Haha, GOTCHA!!!!!!!
And Now, A Word From Our Sponsors
We've rambled enough now, it's time for you to make a difference; go out and inform the world that this song sucks big time. Remember: unless you are a cool Sith Lord, saving a life is the greatest charity you can ever give.
The previous message is brought to you by the hippie Jedi foundation, for all aspiring hippie Jedis out there and for everyone else who's not Sith (or who is an extremly bad Sith) and sucks as bad as us; this includes all you losers, fanboys, Fandalorians, MANDALORIANS, Anonymous Stormtroopers, Cult of the Power Droids enthusiasts, Michael Jackson, Samuel Jackson (this does not go for his counterpart, however), C-3PO, Wookiees, KHAAAN!, HAAAN!, Jabba the Hutt, Jabba Desilijic Tiure, the SA (yep, he's a pansy as well; it's just still a secret), all stormtroopers in general, the Stormtrooper Effect, the Prune of Powah!!!!, the Peach of Powah!!!, meesa, hu elsa?, the guds, TARPAAAAAAALS!, friends, our most beloved friends here on Darthipedia, G*nk in an obese way, love, that thing I just stepped on, that thing I found stuck to a podracer, the bad-fashion queen who can't take a joke (or a choke) at all, the result of all this imagination George thought he had, speaking of the devil, the man himself, another well-hated person of doom, people who feel love in the air at the most inconvenient moments, non-death, life, that thing we thought we would never have to listen to again after we first saw ROTJ, that thing I'd rather not talk about because it's too violent for young minds such as yourselves, the person who will die (we all know it), the droid formerly known as Goldenrod (formerly known as Prince), the lizards who dare to disgrace Kyle's name, philosophy, knowledge, laws, the argumentative political body that nobody really cares about, the Galactic Republic, Darth Obvious, Darth Noob, those deadly teddy bears (size matters not; hah, gotcha!), that thing we like to spoof all the time, that thing that was a long time ago and in a galaxy far far away--erm, damnit!, and even <insert name here>. Yeah, that's right, you know it all applies to you.
