C-3PO
| |
| C-3PO | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Homeworld | |
| Born |
Because of some twat |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender |
Masculine(?) programming |
| Height |
1.8 meters? |
| Hair color |
Seriously? Its a frikkin robot. |
| Eye color |
Frikkin robot. |
| Cybernetics |
Robot. |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Era(s) |
several |
| Affiliation | |
| Known masters | |
| Known apprentices | |
- "Oh, my, goodness gracious me! I'm a gay man's golden fantasy!"
- ―Goldenrod[src]
- "Ooh! Sex slaves to Jabba the Hutt. It's our lot in life."
- ―Goldenrod is depressed on Tattooine
Goldenrod, aka C-3PO, was the easily combustible automaton which was emotionally attached to Luke Skywalker and his clan. His bosom buddy was frequently R2-D2, who on more than one occasion Goldenrod attempted to have relations with. At nights when R2-D2 powered down, Goldenrod would often attempt to upload to him farcical hologram messages involving various members of the galactic aristocracy pleading for rescue.
He was pessimistic, and so annoying nineteen people shot him down at the same time. These nineteen were awarded medals for eliminating this irritating shit . When things had a chance to get better for the rebellion, he started telling the HUGE odds against possibly winning any battle. Nobody ever liked him. The only thing more annoying that him would be Jar Jar Binks. Many times he would end up in pieces. If the enemy didn't shoot him eventually, his allies will shoot him so he could shut up. Possibly he was an accident, a freak of robotics. His creator must have worked smoking some kind of intergalactic weed or something.
Legacy
Because he was so annoying and distracted people enough to lead to their destruction, miniatures versions of Goldenrod are given away to folks that are equally annoying or distracting.He was also remembered for his charging of golden showers.
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