Bob Barker
- "Is Bob Barker gonna have to choke a female dog?"
- ―Bob Barker
Emperor Bob Barker "The Cruel" was some insane dude that was obsessed with castrating animals. He said it was for their own protection, but we know that ain't right. If it's for their own protection, the animals could just use Sith Happens Condoms. But anyway, Barker allied himself with the "famed" Dr. Dick-Smith Deez Nuts and several hunters to exterminate one of their enemies: Big Bird, leader of the Brotherhood of the Bird. The group began the "Brotherhood of the Bird Apocalypse", exterminating the majority of the members, as well as the leader. Capturing Big Bird, Barker strapped him to a table and began castrated him violently, as the bird flopped in various directions. After the castration, Dr. Deez Nuts killed Big Bird with a lightsaber. Emperor Barker donated Bird's testicles as food for the hungry. Several years later, Barker died when he tried to castrate Darth Animal. Animal didn't take kindly to the castration attempt and ate Bob Barker whole.
He also had a show known as "The Price Is Right", which nobody watches. It was cancelled following his death.