The Year of the Fox-Girl
|Chronological and political information|
- "Good shot, Janson!"
- ―Wedge Antilles, every time Wes Janson nailed a furry alien
Wes Janson was a hotshot Human male pilot for the Rebel Alliance who flew alongside Luke Skywalker with Rouge Squadron and later in life became a major figure in the New Republic. He also briefly joined the commandos of Wraith Squadron.
He was also an avowed furry xenophile, who was attracted to anything hirsute and humanoid with a rough approximation of breasts to indicate it was female. Although this did not affect his status as a hero of the New Republic, it troubled his friends greatly.
Janson famously participated in the Battle of Hoth, where he made a "good shot," according to fellow pilot and lifelong companion Wedge Antilles. Unfortunately, he spent most of his time on Hoth stalking and attempting to engage in relations with the indigenous Wampas. When Janson heard that Luke had been dragged into a Wampa's cave, he became insanely jealous.
Rouge Squadron also played a significant role in the Battle of Endor, engaging Imperial TIE fighters while Lando Calrissian and Wedge flew their assault against the Death Star II. Janson scored several kills during the battle, but his performance was hurt by his distraction at being so close to a planet full of tiny, beautiful, alluring female Ewoks. As soon as the battle ended, Janson went AWOL and was found months later on Endor in a jacuzzi with Kneesaa and Latara.
It was during Janson's close, personal time with the Ewoks that he developed a prank known as Lieutenant Kettch, an imaginary Ewok fighter pilot character he invented. Janson would imitate Kettch's voice on the radio and attempt to pass him off to his fellow pilots as a real person. Little did he know that there was in fact a real Kettch, a powerful Ewok Sith Lord who had sworn vengeance on Janson for trivializing his name.
On Malrev IV, Janson was charged with rescuing a ship full of Bothans... well, you can guess how that went. Let's just say he carved a few more notches on the furry side of his ship that week. Wedge and Tycho Celchu just rolled their eyes and shrugged. "Hey, what can you do? He's Janson."
During the Yuuzhan Vong War, Janson continued his heroic career flying with Rouge Squadron. During the war, he flew under the command of Jaina Solo and often found himself flirting with her over the radio during missions. He had assumed Jaina was a Selonian or perhaps a petite Wookiee. Later, when he discovered Jaina was a 19-year-old Human girl with perfect curves, he became disgusted and refused to talk to her for weeks.
Death on Hoth
After the Battle of Hoth, Wedge and Janson were left stranded on the planet, and for some reason Wedge's entire life story changed and he suddenly became Biggs Darklighter. Wedge (Biggs) and Janson were stranded there for months, fighting off Wampas and an evil group of scavengers led by a scary dude with a cyborg hand. They were forced to eat Sir Robin's minstrel, and there was much rejoicing. Janson and Wedge tried desperately to build a fire and kill wolves and things. Janson, wounded by a Wampa, was shot by the scavengers and left to die... his final words were, "Wedge... I have been... and shall always be... your friend... live long and prosper."
No, not really. April fool. Janson's right here. He's fine.