Oh come on
|Chronological and political information|
- Jedi Exile: "Why did your master pierce your eye sockets?"
- Visas Marr: "I believe the term is Skulfrakking."
- — The Jedi Exile and Visas Marr
Visas Marr was a Miraluka from Katarr, who survived the destruction of said planet and became a housekeeper for Darth Nihilus aboard the Ravager. She cooked and cleaned for the entire crew which she subsequently killed some time later. In a career move she started to work for the competition and gave the Ebon Hawk a nice makeover. Later on she became a part of MANDALORIAN legend when she became Canderous Ordo's 47th wife. Her sarcophagus in the Mausoleum of the Mandalores is frequently visited by Mandalorian female's in order to find the inspiration and motivation to do their housewife related tasks.
- "Hey, you missed a spot"
- ―Darth Nihilus to Visas while she was on her cleaning duties
Visas Marr was born on the lush world of Katarr and the daughter of Frances Browne and Ray Charles. Her childhood years were quite bad as she would allays lose at dodge ball in school. Her first touch of the Dark Side came when she was failed her Speeder license exam. A couple of years later her home planet was visited by Darth Nihilus who was in desperate need for a snack. He spared her on the count of her phenomenal grades in the field of home economics and offered her a job aboard his ship, which was a dirty mess and a Sith Lord can't fly around in a piece of junk now can he? That would just be silly. Anyway...... Visas was installed as first mate and started to clean the ship as best she could.
While flying in an unknown system she and her master felt a funky murmur in the force, she was ordered by Nihilus to investigate and subsequently kill this new threat. Visas made her way to Dantooine and soon confronted the Jedi Exile. The Jedi Exile responded my making Visas a counter offer to clean the interior of the Ebon Hawk, an offer Visas could not refuse since the Ebon Hawk was much smaller and far easier to clean. She sent Nihilus a message via carrier pigeon specially adapted for hyperspace travel, stating she quit his service.
Her new duties aboard the Ebon Hawk were not the blessing she thought it would be, Atton was kinda smelly, Bao-Dur left his tools all over the place, T3-M4 leaked oil, the Handmaiden left her clothes on the floor every time she was training, Mira kept double checking her for an eventual bounty on her head, Hanharr left so much of his fur on the floor, it could easily be mistaken for a carpet, and HK-47 randomly used her for target practice. Fueled by rage, she went to the Exile and Kreia and demanded a raise in pay, and if they refused, she would step to the union. Kreia responded with Force lightning and stunned Visas because she did not see the attack coming. In the end, Visas did such a good job, everyone decided to rename the Ebon Hawk, calling it the Ivory Hawk.
Ravaging the Ravager
- "Go get 'em, girly, and remember, an eye for an eye!"
- ―Canderous Ordo's pep talk aboard the Ravager
While boarding the Ravager, Visas, the Jedi Exile and Mandalore the Buff found themselves against overwhelming odds. The tide was turned when Mandalore got the brilliant idea to give Visas a lightsaber and told her to use it as a cane. The party then advanced through the Ravager with Visas taking the lead she soon massacred everyone. This feat impressed Mandalore so much that he asked Visas to marry him and become his 47th wife. The Jedi Exile lead the small ceremony just before they would enter the bridge, Colonel Tobin was assigned as Best Man, if he refused this honor Canderous would kill him. After the ceremony was over Canderous killed Colonel Tobin according to the MANDALORIAN blood baptize marriage tradition that stated that every marriage should be signed with the blood of lesser mortals. The time had come for Visas to take her revenge on her former master and the three walked up to Nihilus, a vicious fight soon emerged and our heroes soon gained the upper hand until Canderous checked his chrono and found out that a day had passed and Mandalorian shabbos had begun. Since MANDALORIANs did not fight on shabbos, Canderous stopped fighting and ordered his fresh wife to so the same. Nihilus now gained the upper hand and knocked the Exile out cold. Then he proceeded to torment Visas with Dun Möch by telling her what a bad housekeeper she was. Visas demanded that her new spouse should punish Nihilus for this but to no avail. Canderous replied that he was eager to brutally murder Darth Cookie but was bound by MANDALORIAN law preventing him to do so. Having enough of this Visas ignited her Lightsaber and stabbed herself in the chest. Nihilus was killed by a rogue Basilisk War Droid that crashed into the bridge of The Ravager and Canderous ordered the MANDALORIAN pilot to kill himself for fighting on shabbos. He took the corpse of his wife and laid her to rest in the Mausoleum of the Mandalores
Notes and references
- Shamelessly stolen joke from Karohalva