The Imperial March

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"♫ Hiiiide the chillll-drennn, it's Darth Vader's Theeeeme ♫
♫ Guaaard your laaaa-rynx, it's Darth Vader's Theeeeme ♫
DARTH Vader's THEEEEME iiiis re-pet-i-tive ♫
♫ Don't giiiiive hiiim a sed-a-tive ♫
♫ It wooon't silence Darth Vader's Theeeeeme ♫
John Williams[src]

The Imperial March was the national anthem of the Galactic Empire, as was prescribed by The One during his stint serving on ISB's Board of Conductors. It was performed whenever something EEEEVVVILLL happened in the galaxy. Darth Vader even forced at lightsaber point hired his own personal orchestra to play it for him whenever he destroyed planets.

Powers and abilities

When having the theme tune playing in the background, Darth Vader was able to perform epic feats of Evil. The massive, true potential of this piece of music, has yet to be discovered, but will never be thanks to some wimp who doesn't even have a themesong, however, it is rumored to be almost parallel with The Mysterious Artifact of Epic Everpwn'ness.


strength + 40

Dexterity + 35

Constitution + 64

Intelligence + 3

Wisdom + 80

Charisma + epic-731

Rejected ideas

"Na-na-na-nana-nana BATMAN!"
―The rejected version of the Imperial March

The creator of this rejected version of the Imperial March was sent to his home planet shortly before it was destroyed by Darth Vader.

Behind the scenes

Darth Vader was so fond of this song he commanded requested that there would be a Month named after it.

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on The Imperial March.