Prophecy of G*nk

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The clouds themselves speak of His return

The Prophecy of G*nk is a tenet of G*nkism that predicts a time when G*nk shall return from His self-imposed exile and bring salvation to the world.

Creation Myth of the Old Testament

In the beginning, there was G*nk. G*nk created the universe, but it was without form, and void. And G*nk saw the void, and He said, "Gonk."

And G*nk did populate the universe with beings both droid and organic. And He looked upon His creation, and again He spake, saying, "Gonk."

Salvation Myth of the New Testament

And G*nk saw that the wickedness of man was great in his wiki, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only crap continually. And G*nk repented that he had made his wiki on the Internet, and it grieved Him at His heart. And G*nk said, "I will take a break from this crap, for it repenteth me that I have made it." And G*nk wandered off. Years and years did pass, and yet G*nk returneth not.

Yet there shall come a time when G*nk is once again pleased with His creation and shall return in glory, casting out the unbelievers and trolls and rewarding the righteous and true. All praise be unto G*nk.