Pink Lightsaber Syndrome
- "Not Cool!"
- ―Darthur Fonzarelli comments on his affliction
Pink Lightsaber Syndrome, or PLS for short, is an ailment that mainly afflicts Dark Lords of the Sith, during their old age. No one knows where it came from, and no one has really bothered to study it. Fortunately for the Sith Order, the disease is actually very rare; only
two three Sith Lords were known to have contracted it: Palpatine (early onset) and Darth Cool (full-blown PLS). Darth Vader later contracted the disease from his Master.
When Sith Lords do not face PWNage or some other form of death before a certain age, they often find themselves succumbing to what is now known as Pink Lightsaber Syndrome. Their strength begins to decline, and their Force-sensitivity decreases, leading to a number of signs that the Sith in question has reached senility.
In the earliest stages of PLS, a Sith lord will show a marked decline in sensibility. The Sith often loses their composure and may be overcome by bouts of evil cackling, followed by incoherent screams and diarrhea in the form of Force lightning. Although still fully capable of functioning as a normal Sith Lord, they show a growing interest in younger boys, which probably accounts for the ancient practice of taking on an apprentice. As apprentices frequently kill masters, there could be no other logical reason for that practice.
If the Sith has managed to escape PWNAGE thus far (and mind you, that was reeeeeaaaaaaaaaally unlikely, because they get so incredibly annoying by now), the disease takes on its most horrific form, which in turn gives the disease its name. Sapped of all Force, the traditional red blade of a Sith lightsaber begins to lose color, turning into the gayest shade of pink possible. It also loses much of its strength, causing the blade to droop flaccidly.
In addition, the Sith Lord also finds himself unable to destroy any more planets, or even moons for that matter, choosing instead to fill them with pink fluffy bunnies. The former Sith Lord then retires to a life of writing Harry Potter fluff-fiction.
Besides PWNage, there are no known cures for PLS except for one possible antidote, developed by Mace Windu. Having saber troubles of his own, Windu was known to have developed a pill that reinforced his saber, and turned it into a nice rosy purple. However, since Mace Windu never actually owned a lightsaber (what he had was a bit different, and besides, he was a Jedi), it is unreasonable to assume that this pill would work for ailing Sith Lords. Nevertheless, Windu was known to have spent large amounts of time peddling pills to unsuspecting Sith, waiting until the last minute to switch his blue cure pill with a pill that led to certain doom.