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"Ha' ye nowt ken o' aul' Oengus th' braw bairn-aeter an' gi' wi' th' braeken?"
"Uh... Right."
"Mah larkee an' in th' tae!"
"I think I'll go stand over there now. Security?
"
Darth Oengus and a starport docking officer.
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Nimrod Anthill, temporarily known as Darth Duro, was some Jedi douche who once watched "2girls1cup" and was traumatized. Very little is known about his origin, although historians have speculated he was born in Egypt near the Mary Suez canal. He had a wife (LOLZ) and kid throughout the time he fought the Galactic Empire. He was also the only known wielder of the infamous Carrot Saber. He actually started out as a Fanboy, but after some Fandalorians gave him a "Wookiee-Cookie" he turned to the dark side and trained under the Wookiee-Nookie Monster. It is rumored that after they trained together, they either dueled to the death or had relations.

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Evil Genius of the Month
May's Evil Genius of the Month... for now:
derpyy
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The Bothan Herald
As long as Bambi's mother won't be slaughtered by Tusken raiders. That would mess with continuity.
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The all new The Force action figure, now with kung-fu grip.
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