John "Tyler" Tarkin
|Chronological and political information|
- "I'm taking an awful risk, Vader, becoming the tenth president of the United States."
- ―John Tarkin
John Tarkin, nicknamed Tyler, known to his hapless subjects as John Tyler, was the tenth president and the First Grand Moff of the United States of America. He became president after the suspiciously short term of William Henry Harrison.
Acting under orders from Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader, Tarkin annexed the Republic of Texas, after destroying Amarillo with a colossal "super-cannon." Whig leader Henry Clay objected to Tarkin's ascendancy, until Vader Force choked him into submission. He survived an impeachment attempt, but his career was in tatters, having been renounced by both the Democrats and the Whigs. His declaration that "fear will keep the voters in line" proved incorrect, and his attempt to organize a third party ended in bitter failure.
He was succeeded by James K. Polk, who rode a wave of popularity due to support from They Might Be Giants.