Jar Jar Binks

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,970,995 articles
Jump to: navigation, search
Dis de stupid Jar Jar binks fate.jpg
Jar Jar Binks
Biographical information
Homeworld

Nabooboo

Born

Suddenly, Much to his parent's dismay

Died

Promptly, To huge celebration

Physical description
Species

Gungan (Unconfirmed)

Gender

Male (Unconfirmed. Possibly Hermaphroditic).

Height

Slightly shorter than most people

Hair color

None

Eye color

Two Googly things

Cybernetics
Chronological and political information
Era(s)

When he lived

Affiliation

Old Republic

Known masters

The Whiner

Known apprentices

None (He smelled too much like bantha poodoo)

WookieepediaLogoBouncing-Thumb.gif
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Jar Jar Binks.
"Mesa Jar Jar Binks. Mesa obnoxious Jamaican stereotype. Meeeeeeesa so..."
―Jar Jar Binks before getting his planet destroyed
"Oh my God! Have you ever seen him eat? It's disgusting! We used to have to eat together in the Senate cafeteria because we're from the same planet somehow and he'd always be like 'Mesa so happy to see you, Palpy!' with food all running down his mouth and-uh! He's so fucking gross!"
Palpatine on Jar Jar Binks

Jar Jar Binks was the second-first irritating thing in the galaxy. Contrary to popular belief, there was one thing more annoying than him. One thing so annoying that to even hear its name would drive you crazy. One thing so insanity-inducingly annoying that if you carry on reading you'll go insane. Oh, there you go. You're insane now. Anyway, this was that thing.

In a bar, Binks was attacked by some guy who hated him, and in the fight Binks had his thingy crushed. Jar Jar Binks had to replace it with a metal one. He also got completely raped by a speeder one day , but no one ever noticed cause no one really gives two shits. Binks was also famous for his Jamaican stew.

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?!!"
―A typical phrase uttered by people to Jar Jar

Also in Episode 3 it is revealed that Jar Jar single-handedly screwed the Jedi. It went down like this:

It gives meesa great pleasures to give all controls of the clone army to Chancellor Palpatine!

"Dumbass"(under his breath)

Yousa say something Palpy?

Oh no, thanks, good job.

Well, now we're an Empire so... kiss my ass, Jar Jar.

Dammits, Palpy, yousa tricked us.

Yeah, Sith do that.

See also