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An interactive Porn, where Darth Maul penetrates That Stormtrooper That Got Shot Off The Extension Ramp On The First Death Star In Episode IV (Without his armor of course, mind you.)
"The HoloNet is for porn!
The HoloNet is for porn!
Why you think the Net was born? Porn, porn, PORN!
Trekkie Monster, revealing the true origins of the HoloNet summing up his basic philosophy of life in song.

The HoloNet was a galaxy-wide network. It was mostly used to distribute Porn. Although some miserable wretches insist, that the HoloNet is for Communication, HoloNet News, or similar useless stuff.


In the older days of the Galactic Republic the HoloNet was used only by a small amount of people for holo conferencing. Although historians do believe, that those conferences were only transmissions of people sharing their relations with each other in a very intimate way. At some point, the Jedi started distributing nude pictures of <insert name here>, the usage of the HoloNet sprang like bloody hell. Fortunately the republic started falling apart, because all the soldiers, were distracted by those pictures, so that the great evil Sith Empire was at least able to kill them all. After they established their Galactic Empire, they became the great no-longer-evil, good and just Sith. George "Impotent" Lucas wanted Luke Skywalker to kill the happy Sith rule thingy, but Luke also had a HoloNet access and so he started playing Yard of Yoda and never went to look for R2-D2 and all this nonsense story. Still being in his basement, he was at the moisture farm during the imperial pacification of his bastard family.


  • Porn
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on HoloNet.