Hailfire droid

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,970,995 articles
Jump to: navigation, search
Jeez. Even the Wheelers from Oz didn't have wheels like that.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on IG-227 Hailfire-class droid tank.
"Hailfire droid... ON WHEELS!!!!"
―Some troll, moving the Hailfire droid article... jerk

Hailfire droids, or IG-227 Hailfire-class droid tanks, were massively impractical droids used by the Confederacy of Independent Systems during the Clone Wars. They were mobile missile platforms mounted on two wildly oversized hoop-wheels. The wheels were thin, lightly armored, and prone to breakage, and in the event they snapped off, they left the droid helpless on the battlefield. (They were designed after the gaudy earrings of a Neimoidian infomercial saleswoman.)

Each Hailfire droid was loaded with an arsenal of 30 missiles, which were excellent at piercing the armor of AT-TEs and shooting down Low Altitude Assault Transports, but once the droid ran out of missiles, it was left helpless on the battlefield. Except for a dinky laser cannon. The droid tank possessed no real armor, and its huge wheels made great target practice for clone troopers. The only way Hailfire droids could avoid incoming fire is by hiding behind something... which they couldn't do because their wheels stuck out.

Each Hailfire droid also possessed a sophisticated droid brain. Their self-awareness and intelligence inevitably led them to the conclusion that they were terribly designed and doomed to failure, which made them all very depressed.

Hailfire droids were used to the best effect during the Battle of Geonosis, where at least they had some help from the rest of the battle droids in the army. After the Clone Wars ended, Hailfire droids were converted to mobile fireworks dispensers. (Who do you think did all those fireworks shows when Palpatine died in Return of the Jedi?)