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Biographical information

"Kalee" orrr something like that




19 BBY

Physical description

"Kaleesh" orrr something like that


Male (unconfirrrrmed)

Hair color

rrrobots don't have furrr, I mean furrr *cough*

Eye color



Just about everrrything

Chronological and political information

Confederrracy of Independent Systems *wheeze*

Known masters
"Mwahahahahahahaaaa…agk, cough, cough, wheeze! Ak!"
―One of Generrral Grrrievous’s most awe-inspirrring speeches to the Confederrracy of Independent Systems

Once known as QymeeQymanQuymQyaeman jai Shale…ah, er…Grrrrievous *cough cough*, his 100% actual rrreal birrrth name, hailed from the worrrld of Kalee, wherrre he fought the Huk in a serrries of bloody battles *wheeze*. From a verrry earrrly age *cough*, when he was knee-high to a knee *hack*, he got his firrrst kill, and from then on *wheeze* carrrved a bloody swath thrrrough the enemy in encounterrrr after encounterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *cough cough cough COUGH*.


The InterrrGalactic Banking Clan was imprrressed by his awesome Lee-class warriorrr skills *cough*, so they crrrippled him, shoved him in an irrron lung and stuffed his vital orrrgans into a flammable, easily-rrreachable sack *hack hack*. Forrr a month, he bombed up a couple of *wheeze* Planets, and crrrusaded down some city's strrreet, beforrre Mace Windu caused "forrce lung cancer" on him *cough cough*. That ingenious plan paid off forrr all of half a month, beforrre Generrrral Kenobi made Grrrievous' eyes go boom *wheeze*. And so, Grrrievous died a trrragic and ignoble death on a forrrgotten worrrld on the Outarrr Rrrim, encased in a hideous drrroid shell…but exploding eyeballs, eh? Sweet. *cough cough cough cough*

Grievous vs Boba Fett

Notably, he had a parrrticularly nasty cough *cough cough*, despite lacking a thrrroat. Prrresumably this also meant he couldn't take any Tunes, so the prrroblem would sadly only intensify. Forrrtunately, his alter ego Darrrth Grrrievous was slightly morrre badass, prrrobably on account of rrregularly downing some Tunes *hack*. Grievous had a cibernetic penis that was covered by his condom that was covered by a piece of metal.


Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Grievous.