Great Galactic War
- "Here we go again. The Sith Empire invades. All hope seems lost. Hero rises. Sith Empire is owned "
- ―A Republic citizen
- "Heh, this war has nothing on the Clone Wars. I mean, this war just has some lame conflict between the Republic and the Sith, but the Clone Wars has heart and soul and clones and droids and big CGI battles and a cartoon series"
- ―George Lucas
The Great Galactic War was your average run-of-the-mill galactic conflict that involved the Galactic Republic and Sith Empire waging war against each other. The general premise of this war is that the Galactic Republic was invaded by the Sith for the cliché reason of revenge against the Jedi, but wait, with a twist that only the genius mind of M. Night Shyamalan could come up with, the Sith actually won in the end... wait, the Sith winning something has actually occurred before in Star Wars? This isn't the first time the Republic has found themselves screwed over by the Sith? Oh... well, I guess there really is nothing special about this war. Though it should be noted that this war has inspired Bioware to create a new MMORPG based in the Star Wars universe, causing mass joy amongst the fanboys.
- "The Great Galactic War dragged on for decades. Thousands of Jedi and Sith were slain. Countless star systems were ravaged... ha, ravaged... get it, it also can come off sounding as if the Sith are having butt sex with the star systems... Wait! Why are you leaving?! This is comedy gold!"
- ―Jedi Master Gnost-Dural making a "joke"
Back during the Great Hyperspace War, the Sith Empire suffered a rather humiliating defeat at the hands of the Republic. To save themselves from being convicted of war crimes and having to do community service, the Sith fled into the Unknown Regions. There, an unknown Sith Lord re-established the Empire and declared himself the new Emperor, but then he was assassinated two days later by one of his fellow Sith. 14 assassinated emperors or so later, the Sith finally settled on an Emperor and the rebuilding of their glorious Empire commenced so the dream of vengeance against the Republic would someday become a reality.
While rebuilding their Empire, the Sith were able to manipulate events in the greater galaxy to weaken the Republic for their future invasion. The Mandalorian Wars, the Jedi Civil War, Swine Flu, Twilight, Disney, Wal-Mart; all was the doing of the Sith.
In the year 3,681 BBY, the Emperor (who was able to keep himself alive for over a thousand years by using the Force. Yeah, just go with it) finally felt the time had come to invade the Republic. His Empire was finally complete and it looked a little too disturbingly like the Galactic Empire with all the Nazi-looking officers and that jazz. After a series of tweets between the Emperor and his Sith buddies, the Sith military was ready to wreak havoc upon Republic.
To make a long story short, the Sith swarmed into the Outer Rim and then proceeded to PWN the Republic in every way possible. We truthfully don't have many details about the conflict at the moment, but we can tell you that battles were fought, people were killed, planets were destroyed, the Force was used, and pot was smoked.
Assault on Coruscant
After some seriously crazy war shit, the Sith performed an action that nobody ever expected them to do. They offered the Republic a chance for peace to exist between them. When this highly out of character action of the Sith became known to the general public, people throughout the Republic and the Star Wars fan community were taken by complete shock. Other common reactions to the Sith's peace offer from the latter group also included massive whining fits and tantrums. The Jedi on the other hand were jizzing their robes with excitement over this possibility for peace. They happily embraced the peace offer and even started believing the Sith have "changed their ways". Using something called "common sense" though, several Republic leaders realized that the treaty obviously had to be a trap, even without Ackbar offering his opinion, but the Republic was getting their ass kicked by the Sith more and more everyday and this was an offer they couldn't refuse. Diplomats of both sides met on Alderaan to discuss peace, but while this discussion was being held, the Sith armada dropped by Coruscant and fucked the place up. The Sith's surprise attack caused massive property damage and ruined Coruscant's status as the number one tourist destination in the galaxy. With the planet under their control, the Sith threw the greatest and EVILEST dance party that the galaxy has ever known and everyone was invited... except for the Jedi. With the signing of the Sith's completely
unfair FAIR treaty being the only way to regain their capital, the Republic diplomats, well, signed it.
After the war, the Republic was left devastated. Countless star systems were lost to the Sith and billions of Republic citizens were dead, disappointingly leaving a lot less people for the Republic to tax. Since the Republic had already used the Jews as their scapegoat countless times in the past, the Republic decided to be fair and blame their problems on Jedi this time. The Jedi were fired from their position as the protectors of the Galactic Republic and were forced to vacate Coruscant within the next 24 hours.
The end of the war set the stage for a Cold War, which would result in the Republic and the Sith glaring angrily at each other until they decided to start killing each other again. Though, if you want to experience the action of the Cold War first-hand, pick up Bioware's upcoming MMORPG Star Wars: The Old Republic. Yes, I am doing product placement... you see, my family is kinda being held hostage by LucasArts...
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