Galaxy Gun

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,970,995 articles
Jump to: navigation, search
A big Emperor needs a big gun
"Lissen, y'know what we need? Lissen, lissen, okay. Y'know, a blaster blasts stuff, but it's small, y'see? And a blaster rifle is bigger, an', an', an' it blasts bigger stuff. An' a turbolaser blasts bigger stuff, an', an' a turbolaser cannon blasts really, really big stuff. We need to make a really big gun. Like, a million kerjillion miles long." [downs a whiskey] "Ah, who'm I kiddin'? That's another thing I'm never really gonna do."
―Emperor Palpatine, rambling at a local cantina

The Galaxy Gun was the galaxy's biggest gun, naturally enough. It was five times the length of a Star Destroyer and could blow up planets. The design was chosen over a giant bow and arrow, a giant catapult, and a giant penis.

It was commissioned by Palpatine, who had gone a little crazy after dying and being reincarnated into a clone body. He used it to blow up a bunch of planets that didn't really matter in the long run. Yo Mama blew up the Galaxy Gun by crashing a Super Star Destroyer into it.

WookieepediaLogoBouncing-Thumb.gif
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Galaxy Gun.