Flesh Raider

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Flesh Raiders
Planet of origin

Tython

Height of average adult

Tall

Skin color

Brownish reddish

Distinctions

Barracuda! I mean, shark!

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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Flesh Raider.

Flesh Raiders were land-sharks that lived on Tython. The Jedi who lived there thought the Flesh Raiders were sentient, thinking beings, but come on, honestly. They raided flesh. They went out every Friday and Saturday night with their wallets full of condoms and raided flesh. The poor Jedi Padawans assigned to learn on Tython were constantly having their flesh raided, poor fellows. Flesh Raiders had a lot more fun than Tusken Raiders, who usually got sand in their vaginas.

Sometimes the clever Flesh Raider sharks tried to sneak into people's apartments by claiming to be flower deliverymen, plumbers, or Candygrams.