Empatojayos Brand

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,970,995 articles
(Redirected from Deus ex machina)
Jump to: navigation, search
Empatojayos Brand
Biographical information

define death

Physical description





Cybernetic plot device

Personal shit
Chronological and political information
Known masters


Empatojayos Brand was yet another Jedi purge survivor who later proved to be a major player in galactic history by coming off the bench late in the game and scoring the buzzer beating shot that would win the finals.

After his early life

After being shot down during a dogfight with Darth Vader, Empatojayos Brand's broken body was salvaged by the Ganathans. Due to the remote location of their homeworld Ganath they thought it would be a good idea to turn Empatojayos into a cyborg so he could rule them, they obviously never saw The Terminator or The Matrix (remote species remember). As a cyborg, or device or plot device as you will read later on, Empatojayos served the Ganathans as a just and fair ruler which hints that illigal copies of RoboCop might have made it to Ganath via various smuggeling rings.

Later life and subsequent death

Eventually Han Solo and his wife accompanied by the mighty Chewbacca and some crazy old cat lady recruited Empatojayos Brand as cannon fodder in their fight with the reborn Emperor. When Palpatine tried to take over little Anakin Solo's body by binding his spirit to it (why don't you have a seat over here your majesty), Han Solo responded by shooting the Emperor in the back. Although the Emperor's clone body perished his spirit lived on as usual. Empatojayos Brand who was mortally injured due to the fact that he was still considered a Star Wars equivalent of a redshirt by the main characters saved the day by binding his own spirit to the Emperor's. Seeing that an individual becoming a Force ghost was equal to godhood in Jedi and Sith beliefs Empatojayos Brand literally became a God from the machine —or Deus ex machina in Latin— that finally defeated Palpatine for good.
Thanks a bunch Tom Veitch and John Whitman.</sarcasm>