Destroy your planet

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Destroying your planet. Serious business.
"I am so gonna destroy your planet."
Darth Vader to Princess Leia

"I will destroy your planet" was a phrase commonly spoken by individuals who possessed much more firepower than was really logistically necessary, or by individuals who didn't, but wanted to impress people. It was a favorite phrase of Darth Vader in response to belligerent (and even non-belligerent) Rebel sympathizers. He would almost always back it up by going on to actually destroy their planet.

Means of planetary destruction

Leia: "No! Alderaan is a peaceful planet, we have no weapons!"
Vader: "Too bad bitch, I've got this honkin' big Death Star! Stick this up your peace pipe and smoke it!"
— Leia and Vader discussing the fate of said planet.

Darth Vader's original way of destroying a planet usually involved lots of bombs. A helluva lot of bombs, perhaps too many to actually be physically possible to carry out the threat without a severely inflated workforce and a heavy machinery license. Following the creation of huge multitudes of Star Destroyers, Vader believed he had found a far more efficient way of destroying your, or indeed anyone else's, planet. However, being by their very nature Star Destroyers, they would more often than not miss the planetoid destructee completely, firing into a nearby star and causing a supernova that Vader's fleet would then have to Hyperdrive away from.

Fortunately, the creation of the Death Star greatly reduced collateral damage to Imperial property.

Alternative means of planetary destruction

PWNage at work.

Various other ways of destroying planets have been and will be invented. Various other Superlaser wielding moon like battle stations have been invented. Most of these were rip-offs of the Death Star, such as the Death Star II and the Death Star III however these did not last long so the Death Stars were never out classed, despite their glaring weakness.

2409th Taxation and Power Controlling Rule

Until the 2409 Taxation and Power Controlling Rule was put into place, there was a way to destroy planets privately without the use of the military. This method involved the rich paying lots of money to rent Death Stars from shops such as Rent-A-Star; this was (and still is) the easiest way to destroy a planet. Poorer people such as Ol'Darthy Bastard had to live with destroying plants instead.

After the 2409 taxation and power control rule was put into place, the rich were no longer allowed to rent Death Stars. From then onwards the rich had to enjoy alternative forms of destruction, such as destroying your Muuns or destroying your rear.

A minor setback

"You have failed me for the last time!"
―Darth Vader to his bomb makers.[src]

After the destruction of the Death Star, Vader was forced to resume his bombtastic ways. But his bombs had lost their "kick", which resulted in the failure of blowing up Hoth. And Bespin, well... considering the planet was mostly made of gas, his bombs failed to work and passed right through the planet resulting in the destruction of an unknown planet. With the death of Darth Vader and the Empire's defeat at Endor (which Vader also failed to destroy), the ability to destroy one's planet disappeared from the galaxy until KJA realized that being original was for good authors, and who wants to be one of them? None of us, that's for sure!


"I will destroy your planet!"
―Darth Malak to the Tarisians[src]
"I will destroy your planet!"
―Darth Vader many, many times
"I'll be back... to destroy your planet!"
―The Governator to the Democratic party
"Question: But how is that possible, master? I have already destroyed your planet."
"Irritated response: Master, you forget so easily, you've already destroyed 247 and a half planets, not 239 planets."
"What lovely fireworks."
―Darth Frieza after destroying a planet
"1 w!11 d35+r0y y0ur p14n3+"
Nuku-Nuku in l33t[src]

See also

When all else fails...