Darthipedia:Mos Eisley Shitport

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,970,995 articles
Jump to: navigation, search
"Mos Eisley Shitport. You will never find a more wretched hive of Scum, Crap and other deleted nonsense anywhere in the galaxy."
Obi-Wan Kenobi[src]

Even we at Darthipedia have standards.....kinda.
Stuff that doesn't even belong in articles can be moved in here for all the community to enjoy.....or not.

To add BJAODN to this page, use this format or we will Destroy your planet:


Added by: (username here)

(From [[article name]], if applicable)

(insert BJAODN here)

April 27

Added by: Madclaw


"Yes I like to delete stuff"
Jedimca0 during a boring day on IRC
Biographical information

about 5 minutes ago


less then a minute after it's going to be opened

Physical description


Personal shit
Chronological and political information


Splode is the name of this page since it has no value what so ever and it does not belong on Darthipedia. It was created for the sole purpose of being Sploded by a boring admin who has absolutely nothing to do.

April 27

Added by: supergeeky1


The only alternative to apples before Milky Way bars came, and all they served was fancy names for... yep, you guessed it. Snot.

Menu + prices ($=spacemoney, whatever it is. $100=£99.99)

  • Snotburger= $600
  • Snotslush (a slushie)= $250
  • Snotsticks(Fries)= $550
  • Snotnuggets= $525.50
  • The BIG SNOTTY MEAL (all of that stuff with added snotsauce)= $2000
  • THE HUUUUUUUUGE SNOTTY MEAL! (everything in portions the size of Darth Darth Binks $ Something ridiculous, like $9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ This was me quoting the menu. in total, they have had... 2 customers! Annie and Darth Elmo. Both were five, and like many young males, found eating snot irrisistable.

April 27

Added by supergeeky1

From:The Frog

"The Evil Dog" is a popular video made by Jonathan Hallman. It stars Hallman as both himself and as the voice of the Evil Dog.

The video opens with Jonathan getting out of bed to get his glasses so he can see. As he sits down in his chair and relaxes, he sees this stuffed dog on his desk. "I don't remember this dog being here. It's all torn up and crap." All of a sudden, the dog talks back to Jonathan: "Hey, boy, don't you talk to me like that, boy. I'll slap you. Boy, you better get down. I'ma slap you, boy. You better stop what yo doing. Just stop it." Jonathan looks really horrified. Then, Jonathan gets really mad. "BACK TO HELL, YOU DEMON DOG!" Jonathan throws the dog out of the house. "Thank the lord. Got rid of that stupid dog." Then, he decides to go to his GoogleMail page. "Now to check my GoogleMail!" Jonathan starts singing the GoogleMail Song. As he's looking at his mail, he has just recieved a new profile: THE DOG!!!! "He's stalking me!" Jonathan starts reading Dog's profile in horror: "Hi, I'm an evil dog and I usually stalk people, mainly Jonathan Hallman. I enjoy long walks on the beach and going to fine resturants. My favorite thing to do is stalk people. I mean come on dude it's loads of fun. All right, that's it. Send me a message if you want more. Peace!" Jonathan decides to give him a message. "If he wants a message, he's getting a message!" Jonathan replies with this: "Dear, Mr. Dog, you better not be stalking me because I am way cooler than you. I mean come on Mr. Dog! I have lots of messages on GoogleMail. I'm best friends with the creator of GoogleMail. And I'm just really cool! I'm emo and I have a lot of friends on GoogleMail and I'm the coolest guy on GoogleMail. You can't stalk me!" When he's done, Jonathan presses the Send button. He gets off of his computer and rushes to the bathroom in a terrified way. As Jonathan opens the door, he takes his glasses off and washes his face. When he gets done, he thinks to himself: Jonathan, get a hold of yourself. There's no such thing as talking dogs!" Jonathan slaps himself in the face repeadetly. Jonathan feels better and puts his glasses back on. He skips out of the bathroom and back to his room. As he's playing his PS2, the dog mysteriously reappears: "Hello, Jonny Boy. I've been waiting for you." Jonathan looks at the dog in horror. "That's right, Jon. I've come back from Hell. Now I will do something to you like play Closet." Jonathan gets really angry. "I'M TIRED OF YOU, DOG!" Jonathan starts beating the dog humorously. The dog stops Jonathan with this: "Let's be friends!" "OKAY!" Jonathan and the dog start doing funny stuff including playing the PS2 and the dog loses. "Haha! You lose!" "I know I lost, just don't rub it in. Boy, you're making me really mad, foo. I'ma beat you up now, little poo-poo head. I'ma beat you up!" As Jonathan is laughing at him, the dog dives on him and starts beating him up. Jonathan starts throwing the dog to the ground, points up to the sky and gives the dog a victorius growl. The dog replies: "I never want to speak to you again, you hear me? I never wanna talk to you again. I hate you!" A dude says "Oh, my god. Two months later. Oh, my god." Jonathan sadly goes onto GoogleMail. He goes to the dog's profile and starts crying. He's thinking about the happy times and he and the frog happened together, but there is another flashback: Catwoman tries to seduce Jonathan! Jonathan stops the flashback and resumes sobbing. He gives the dog a emotional message: "I'm really sorry. Please be my friend again. I miss you so much. Also, Michael Jackson is really gay." There is a zoom-in on the dog. At the very end, you can hear the dog in the background jamming out to "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives

  • "The Evil Dog" has a 97% percent rating on YouTube.


April 27

Added by: supergeeky1

From:Yuuzahn and the Vongets

Yuuzhan and the Vongets was a band that stuck their heads in toilets..... Its also the people who Jacen Solo hung out with

―Jacen Solo, to his sister, Jaina

April 27

Added by: supergeeky1

From:Darth Darth Darth Darth

The Son of Darth Darth Darth, and father of Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth His grandma had a Darth Darth, while having relations with a Darth Darth Darth Darth Darth trash can. He went to Darth Darth How to be a Darth School, while eating Darth Tarts.

April 27

Added by: supergeeky1

From:Kitty Kitty Boo Boo

Tarzan_Lightsaber_1c.jpgKitty kitty boo boos training: Kitty kitty boo boo was trained under jedi master Chicken face who turned evil after he ate a doughnut due to alergic reactions.

Kitty kitty boo boo squadron leader: Kitty kitty boo boo soon led the jedi to victory with help from Max the puppy, P.S Max the puppy was the chosen one. Max and Kitty kitty boo boo flew Shoe fighters. KatNap_UPLOAD.PNG

above: Kitty kitty boo boo sits in her Shoe fighter and she waits for Max the puppy to hop in his Shoe fighter.

Oh yeah P.S.:Kitty kitty boo boo is a girl .

Bold textItalic text Kitty kitty boo boo also thought against Darth Cha-Cha well actually that was her grandma Kitty Witty,Kitty kitty boo boo actually thought Darth Cha-cha's grandson Darth Maracha!

April 27

Added by: supergeeky1

From:Darth Shoop Da Whoop

Darth Shoop Da Whoop
Biographical information





Not Yet

Physical description






Hair color


Eye color



Black Head,Big Eyes,Big mouth,& Big LAZAH!

Chronological and political information




Known masters


Known apprentices


IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAH!-Darth Shoop Da Whoop Darth Shoop Da Whoop was a sith obsessed with LAZAHS! Every now & then he would randomly shout his quote & FIRE HIS LAZAH. His LAZAH was more efficeint than the Death Star's LAZAH. He destroyed many planets. He never lost a lightsaber battle, because if he was losing he would just FIRE HIS LAZAH at his opponnet. His enemy is spinach.

April 27

Added by: supergeeky1


The Hunkaforce is a part of the force molded into a hunk.(Duh.)Many sith and jedi have gone after it, the sith because they are all power mad, & the jedi because most of them are joy-killers.To obtain the power of the Hunkaforce, after you get the Hunkaforce itself, you have to eat it.It is rumored that the Hunkaforce tastes like Inter-galactic alligator, which is rumored to taste like chicken, so it pretty much tastes like chicken.It is said to be located the planet uh,uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.I forgot.So,start exploring!!!!!!Or else I will destroy your planet!!!Seriosly I will.

April 28

Added by: supergeeky1

From:Darth hit,n,run

darth hit,n,run was a sith master on the planet youhomo!. there he trained the famed sith darth harry the hermaphradite. he ate crap. as a child he rode his air scooter to alderron where he meet the sexy big breasted jedi ima guna getintubedwitu. there he facked a injury that made the jedi run towards him. she toke hit,n,run to her house where she raped him and made herself pregnant. ima's son she named harry the kids at school called him harry the hermaphradite. he pwns at chess up the river, down the river , and the got raped by sexy big breasted women. he is also 11,000 years old, he has blonde hair, he is 7ft. 11

april 29

Added by: Madclaw

From:Rancer pit

the rancer pit was a deep dark pit with a monster in it. it was used for band users that made a user band so if a user was doing not so good he will be eaten up and gone............. or we will http://darthipedia.com/wiki/Destroy_your_planet destroy your planet

may 10

Added by: Madclaw

From:'Brianna the Handmaiden'

One of the few reasons to play as a male exile. she's got kinky undies.(how can you say not kinky, have you seen those boots???

may 10

Added by: Madclaw

Darth wierdo

Darth wierdo was really wierd, duh. He used a form of attack that involved dancing like a monkey. It only worked because his enemys laufed to death.

May 10

Added by: Madlcaw

From:Darth retard

darh retard was darth darth binkses cousin and really screwed up the empire by f,ing yodas mom wich you see how he got his mentaly impared name.darth retard had became president of tatooina like george w bush that crazy de de de,and had had triedto choke a bird but ended up shitting on it instead.his cousin as you can see is better than him definetly.

may 10

Added by Madlcaw


Sithytopia was what Darth Sithy called the most disgusting planet on Earth. Fortunately for him, he had the most dreadful disability ever, a FORTH LITHP! This prevented him from saying what he originally intended, thus saving him from getting PWNED by Darth Pith, his master Because of the crappy government and highly toxic air quality and other disgusting properties, Sithytopia was named by Darth Sith (a Sith with a horrendous lisp) and thus it was so. Sithytopia at night releases horrible pollutants into the air, and caused nearby systems to produce air freshners by the trillions.

May 20

Added by: Madclaw

Kyle Kartan

born: sometime i dont know died: i dont know but god i want him to

species: lesbonian

hair colour: black

eye colour: black

skin color: black i mean kinda white with some egg on it

afflications: republic

             his poontang

KYle Kartan was this realy wierd dude with a mustache and a beared he looks at his partners poontang more then he needs to but eventualy they did it anyways he was a solider for the republic and became a jedi so he could use force powers into tricking females into have fun xD also he was playing with his lightsaber and cut of his arm

May 20

Added by: Madclaw

The Battle of Endor was a really gay battle that happened in 4 ABY. The fucking Rebel Alliance got all up in the Galactic Empire's grill because they were fucking jealous that the Imperials had a cool-ass Death Star. Assholes. The Rebels fucking got all these gay little Ewoks to help them. I mean, what the fuck? The evil, badass Empire gets beat by a bunch of bitchy balls of fur. Shit. After the battle, Wormie made some bitchy New Republic of Bitches. Shitholes.

Look at all these gayholes! How did the Empire fucking lose?

July 11

Added by: Master Gump

From: Perversianism

An obvious practitioner of Perversianism

Perversianism is an ancient cult of practitioners who practice the holy art of holy prostitution, massive orgies and rampant sex, under the governing of an almighty being known as the 'Almighty Gigglestick'.



"Oh yeah? So why can't I say butthol- KA-BLAM"
―A heretic having Destroy your Sex Appeal performed upon them

The Perversianist religion was founded around the same time as the Shit Order of the Weeto, Darth Weeto being a suspected Pervert due to the hole (no, not an anus, which would be heresy) in his midriff and main body. When the Gigglestick of Justice (who at the time was not anywhere near his ascension to the levels of penis POWAH) decided that he should help others in the quest for non-virginity, Darth tom (a blatant pervert at the best of times) and supergeeky1 (ditto) were made the first High Perverts in an attempt to spread perversion to the Galaxy.

Sacred Perverted Quests

"I shall bless you with more Bullets in the Locker and the ability to half Destroy your Sex Appeal if you go on such Holy Crusades! Your tiny ones shall be doubled- no, tripled if you succeed!"
―The Gigglestick of Justice to his High Perverts. Wow, that's one hell of a lot of sperm he promised them.

As Perversianism grew across the Galaxy, the High Perverts were assigned by the Gigglestick of Justice to travel across the galaxy and spread perversion and non-virginity aid across the galaxy. Whilst supergeeky1 traveled on a holy crusade to liberate the Gen'Dai from virginity, Darth tom traveled to see Mandalore to teach him the holy teachings of Perversianism, and to show him how to multiply his little ones, using the popular Gigglestick phrase, "Go forth and multiply!"

The MANDALORIANs had their sex appeal improved by Darth tom, and supergeeky1 had the necessary levels of Perversianism to liberate the Gen'Dai from their virginity. The two received great gifts of sexuality. Bet you wish you had such a sexual friend, eh?

Clone Wars

"Size matters not!"
―Yoda, defending his penis in front of spiteful Perverts.

During the Clone Wars, the Perversianism religion engaged in more recruitment, recruiting Jedi such as Yoda and Anakin Skywalker, who wanted to improve his sex life at home with Padmé. (He turned to the Dark Side because he wasn't skilled enough in Perversion to satisfy Padmé). The droids decided to wage war on the Galaxy because they were upset that the Gigglestick of Justice refused to allow them a better sex life. Even Palpatine requested Perversianism improvements, but the Gigglestick of Justice saw his mole and refused him entry. Eventually, the Gigglestick of Justice got tired with such whiny, shitty organizations, and decided to remove the Perverts from the galaxy to a safe place.

Sole Deity

The Gigglestick of Justice is the most supreme being and overlord of all Perversianists or, for short, Perverts. In Perversianism, the Gigglestick of Justice battles violently against the evil forces of virginity.

The Gigglestick of Justice has the ability to destroy the virginity of all beings with the sacred baby paste which issues from him.

The Name of the Giggle Stick of Justice

The Almighty Giggle Stick of Justice was named so after his ascension to the Holy Penis (see primary belief myth), and his ability to infest even the most surly of females with fits of pleasure-filled giggles, and using the power of the Baby Paste of Justice to remove virginity from the world, his ultimate quest, in a noble and just way.

Holy Words

The holy words all Perverts use, when situationally appropriate, are:

"Fuck me harder baby."

Yeah, that's good.

More, more, MORE!

Man, I haven't had this much pleasure since- (uncontrollable fit of giggles)

The holy words of Pervesianism are not permitted to be used in context of a member of the same sex; the Gigglestick of Justice doesn't believe in the Anus.

To speak the word 'anus', 'butthole', 'ass', 'asshole' or anything relating to the anal area is heresy.

Primary Teachings

The Parable of the Inactive Man

  • In ancient times, in Holy City, there lay a city beneath thy sky that thou hath been granted by the Gigglestick of Justice. Beneath this sky lay a sexually inactive man. Thy man did not, as was righteous, pursue the quest of losing virginity, and so the Giggle Stick of Justice punished thy heretic by removing his penis and inserting it on thy heretics head, so all the ladies ran away! The same will happen to thee, if thou isn't sexually active. This was a power the Gigglestick of Justice had called Destroy your Sex Appeal, a form of Destroy your planet.

The Tenet of Bullets in the Locker

  • When the Giggle Stick of Justice created thou sex obsessed man, thy was deigned to keep Bullets in the Locker for good use. Yet thou man sometimes pretended he was Lord of the tiny ones that issued from his own, less mighty giggle stick, and the Gigglestick of Justice removed they Bullets in the Locker, showing authority over all the tiny ones.

The Teaching of Bed

  • One day, thy man, gifted fertility by the Gigglestick of Justice, proceeded to try and corrupt another, sexually active man by telling him beds were for sleeping in. So the Gigglestick of Justice struck him down with holy baby paste; beds are for sex, not for sleeping.

Secondary Teachings


Gambling is encouraged by the Gigglestick of Justice; Gambling art a way to meet new ladies!


All forms of dancing are accepted; dancing is a way to show off thy body, as is permitted, and to advertise thou virginity, so that thou may meet other virgins and complete thy quest for non-virginity.


Fornication uses baby paste in the correct way. Primary aim of Perversianism.

Creation Myth

All, both men and women (yes, just reverse the teachings of the Gigglestick of Justice to fit women; the Gigglestick allows that) were created by the Gigglestick of Justice, in a holy outburst of the tiny ones during Fornication.

The Afterlife

Once the quest for non-virginiy is over, life is left only to gain pleasure again and again. The Gigglestick of Justice teaches that you enter a stage of complete pleasure with your partner in death, being chained to a bed with them for all eternity.


Practitioners of this noble art include:

  1. Darth tom
  2. supergeeky1
  3. Darth Bob
  4. Yoda
  5. Anakin Skywalker
  6. Darth Weeto (suspected)

August 5 2009

Killer Ferrets

Created by JediFerret and added by Madclaw

Killer ferrets are strange and insane critters who will destroy your rear ,destroy your planet,destroy your wiki,destroy your plant and totaly Pwn you for the fun of it

November 4 2009

Darth chuck norris

Created by Darthdarthbinks and added by Madclaw

have a fillet of fist,bitch -Darth Norris raping Asoka Tano

Darth Norris was born on the planet of Texas.

In the beggining god, George Lucas,watched a hillbilly show and thoughtt it would be cool for family guy could make fun of this.So he had a beer and made this.

  • he was a redneck
  • killed asoka tano
  • did you know he has the force fist

November 30 2009

Created by: An anon Added by: Madclaw


Alaya secura is VERY hot and extremely sexy. How? I'm not sure but I have two theries. ( sorry if I spelled that wrong.) Either they sthought that it would be a nice change to actually have an atractive character in there, or the were all just high. Either way she still is attractive. One thing I wonder often about is why no one has ever made any internet worthy art about her if she is so FU**ING atracitive! I mean come on! If you did an image search from almost any site I garuntee that you wont find scratch of sexy art about Ayla secura at all. But if you do I would like to see it.

January 3 2010

Created by: An anon Added by: Madclaw

Michael the Hutt Michal Damn Dejeuic Tiure basicly was brother of the big sack of worm ridden filth (also known as Jabba), uncle of stinky larvae, (Rotta) and "played" with Yaddle (witch is nasty). Born on some nasty planet, he then wanted to go to planet lazy town witch went boom boom cuz of Darth Elmo. He then was mad at the Dark Lord, so he went to nestus, then rattatattattakkikki, to search for his sister Lisa Bearegaurde Dejeuic Tiure to form an alliance against Sesame Street. Then, he found her on Nabooboo. AFTER, michal hired a bounty hunter named Montross to do the damn job.when Montross failed he got fired. While Michal was watching The Pickle Show,HE GOTS AN IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He would just have to get of his lazy, hutty ass and kill him! so while michle was eating his pickles there were some guys out the window and they shouted out pickles talk shit about miley sirus about 9000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times so michal killed them all mother fu$#er so die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eventuly, michal made it to sesame street but darth elmo stabbed him first ....."rozzata taba nga wookie nipple pinchy"- michal the hutt

July 31

Added by Madclaw Created by

Form AIDS AIDS was a bad diesese that killed everybody who got it. Darth Evil used it to kill Ben Skywalker after she pretended to be a client for the man-whore. Darth Vader hated AIDS because he thought thought it killed Padme` becuse his mom had it. He almost blew his brains out because he didn't want to die of AIDS.

Vader: Master, I think I have AIDS.

Palpatine: I have a cure for AIDS, Lord Vader.

Vader: What is it?

Palpatine: Suck my Penis.

Vader: Ex- Ex- Excuse me?

Palpatine: My Penis Vader, suck it.

Vader: The blood tests came back. I don't have AIDS.

Palpatine: Damn it! I haven't gotten my balls sucked since that horny kid with ADD!

Later on that day after the article was deleted

AIDS was disease that some gay guy had and he got raped by a bi guy and then that guy gave it everybody and so it spred throught the galaxy. 4 Jedi, 6 Sith and 132,000,000 people were known to have AIDS. Darth Evil had AIDS but she didn't let herself die because she was too awesome. Darth Vader thought he killed Padme beacuse his Mommy had it and he nearly blew his brains out because of that.

Vader: Master I think I have AIDS.

Palpatine: I have a cure fo AIDS, Lord Vader.

Vader: What is it, Master?

Palpatine: Suck My Penis.

Vader: Ex- Ex Excuse me?

Palpatine: My penis, suck it.

Gaurd: Lord Vader, you do not have AIDS. You have Syphillis.

Vader: Whew that was close! Syphillis I can live with.

Palpatine:DAMN IT! I have had my balls suck since that horny kid with ADD!.


-Darth Vader, Emporor Palpatine and a Gaurd discuss AIDS and Frank's gay urges.

August 11

Added by Madclaw Created by Stormtrooperowner

From: Manda-zebra

zebra armor

thay were a pare of turds and are loved by manboys