Darth Panda

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,970,995 articles
Jump to: navigation, search
"Um, would it be okay if I slaughter Jedi later? I'm kinda tired and I have a headache!"
―Darth Panda, in regards to one of his many headaches.

Darth Panda was a male self-proclaimed Sith Lord, but really only bordered on the Dark Jedi, and barely at that. Once a Padawan under the Jedi Master Pai Shense, he was cast out of the Jedi Order for neglecting his training due to laziness and gluttony. Feeling that Panda was unfairly rejected by the Jedi Order, a Sith Lord by the name of Darth Famine decided to take him under his wing in an attempt to train him for revenge. However, quickly Darth Famine could see the wisdom in the Jedi Order's decision, for his apprentice was full of self-pity more than revenge, and was not willing to train. This disgusted Darth Famine as agreeing with a Jedi's decision sickened him.

Under normal circumstances, the Dark Lord would have simply killed Panda, however judging by his ability to annoy some members of the Jedi Order with his pathetic attempts at writing, his shameless requests for holographic renderings of Twi'lek pornography, his whining, and his self-pity, Darth Famine possibly saw a new Dark Force Power being developed, which Darth Famine referred to as "Force Narcissism". Darth Famine cast Darth Panda out of the Sith, but left him alive to see if Darth Panda's Force Narcissism could develop further.

Darth Panda did indeed further develop the power as he preferred to skirt through his life with as minimal effort as possible, while still wanting to be recognized for some self-inflated notoriety, and would often suffer from headaches. These headaches kept him from getting up and doing anything, so as a result, he was rather overweight (this had an effect on his Sith name, as he resembled a panda bear).

Darth Panda was at one time an acquaintance of Trak Nar, who had the misfortune to encounter the sloth Sith during his travels. Panda learned of Trak Nar's holography skill, and would often bother the not-quite-whole Rodian to create for him Twi'lek porn or to read his stories, which were plagued with grammar errors. This constant pestering bothered Trak Nar, who, while normally possessing the patience of a saint, would find himself wishing that Darth Panda would just go commit seppoodoo. Darth Panda was a distant relative of Darth Passive-Aggressive.