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Guri's training regimen
Excerpt from the training sessions of Guri, during the troublesome transition from assassination to seduction.
Greetings, Professor Trumbo. Shall we play a game?
Aha. Yes. One of our lab assistants, a young man named Eric, he tried to play a game with you last night, didn't he?
And what happened?
Target was neutralized. Application of pressure caused cervical fracture and traumatic spinal cord injury. Blunt trauma to skull followed.
Yes... it took quite a lot of effort to clean the lab and dispose of the body, Guri.
Do you wish future targets to be disintegrated?
No, no. It's just that we are about to move into a new stage of your training. You have done very well in your athletic exercises, your live-fire elimination missions, and your infiltration simulations.
The elimination missions were very enjoyable.
The most enjoyable mission was the one where I shattered the one-way glass and disemboweled the target with the shards.
Um... Guri, as I have attempted to explain to you once before, that was not a target. That was another one of our lab assistants, Jeremy Goberman.
Death by hemorrhage after severing the carotid artery.
Yes... well... as I said, we will be moving on to a new and completely different stage of your training: sex and seduction.
Deceiving a target in order to lure them into melee range?
No, no. Actual sex. We have several lab assistants who are very eager to participate in this stage of your training; however, before we begin, it will be necessary to establish some safety precautions.
Purpose of training is unclear. Please explain.
Well, let's begin very simply. This next stage of training will focus on this. This is a penis, or at least a crude representation of one. How would you react to this object?
<mangle, hack, destroy> The target has been neutralized.
Ah, I see. Yes, I was afraid of that...
Audio receptors detect mass movement within the local vicinity.
Yes. That would be the lab assistants running for their lives...