Confederacy of Independent Systems

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Confederacy of Independent Systems
Formation infomation
Founder

Dracula

Location

The Sahara Desert

Date of formation

32 BBY

Date of disband

19 BBY

Member description
Number of members

Not enough as they got PWNED anyway

Names of members
Average Species

Asian stereotypes

Personal information
Allies

None

Enemies

Wimpy Jedi

Objectives

Beat up the Jedi and take Palpy's lunch money

Successes

Killed a bunch of useless, inconsequential Jedi

Failures

Everyone got their head cut off. Seems that Lucas is running out of ways to kill people. They also sucked so badly that they couldn't even destroy a planet.

"Haha! Surely no one can stop the CIS! And it's all thanks to me and my strong, sturdy, immovable head."
―Count Dookie, shortly before having his head cut off

The Confederacy of Independent Systems, also known as the CIS or Jefferson Airplane, was a group of crazy Dark Jedi, drunken ninjas, some confederates who lost the civil war, and broken droids brought together under the guy who played Saruman in Lord of the Rings. Wait a minute, was that the gay guy? Oh right, that was Gandalf. Whatever. This is a Star Wars humor wiki, not Lord of the Rings. Go to the Lord of the Rings humor wiki. Except there ISN'T ONE. What would it be called, anyway? Bilbopedia? Lame. But I digress. The CIS got PWNed. The end.

EVIL beginnings

"I'll buy Atlantic Avenue.
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! How could I have lost a game of Monopoly?!?! This is unfathomable!
"
―Dooku loses a fateful game of Monopoly to Qui-Gon.

The CIS was first started when Count Dookie lost a game of Monopoly to Qui-Gon Jinn. Crying because he had never lost a game of Monopoly ever before, Dooku swore that the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic would pay for his failure. Dooku left the Jedi Order, and decided to join up with a really awful Asian stereotype to make a bunch of cheap American droids to beat up the Republic. They then blockaded the planet of Nabooboo, and kidnapped their jailbait queen, but then had their asses kicked by Jake Lloyd, Jar Jar, and pre-mullet Obi-Wan. Pretty lame. Sensing that getting destroyed by a six-year-old, a Gungan, and Ewan McGregor wasn't optimal, Dooku enlisted the help of TEH BADDEST BOUNTY HUNTER MANDALORIAN EVAR: Crocodile Dundee.

EVIL ass-kickings

So Crocodile Dundee got his head cut off. Quite sad, really. Ol' Sammy L. got him. Since Dooku was completely and totally getting PWNed, he enlisted a Dark Jedi who looked like bald Britney Spears to help him. She was PWNed as well. Dang, the CIS kinda sucks doesn't it? Finally, the CIS found some sort of half-man half-alien half-cyborg half-coughing zombie supermonster called Grievous. At last, the CIS started to win some battles, until Obi-Wan made his eyes go boom.

EVIL... wait a minute, this is the part where they get PWNed.

It's a well-established fact that the CIS sucks. After getting high on sniffing paint, Dooku decided that attacking Coruscant and kidnapping Palpy was a good idea. Sadly, this otherwise absolutely flawless plan ended in Palpy escaping, and Dooku getting his head cut off. Great job guys. Afterwards, Annie killed everyone else, shut down the droids, and PWNed the CIS once and for all.