From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,970,995 articles
Jump to: navigation, search
"Shut down all the garbage mashers in the detention level!"
"Shut down all the garbage mashers in the detention level! Do you copy?"
"I'm sorry. You're breaking up, sir. Hello?"
"Threepio, will you shut down all the garbage mashers—"
"Hello? Hello, sir? Can you hear me now? I was standing in the closet. It's probably a dead zone. You were saying?"
"I said shut down all the garbage mashers in the detention level!"
"Garbled? Yes, sir, you're garbled here as well. Can you step out in the hallway and try again?"
"Threepio, shut up and listen to me! Shut down all the garbage mashers in the detention level, quick! We're gonna die!"
"Artoo, get off the line! I'm trying to talk to Master Luke. I think he's saying something about Marble Madness. Hello? Hello, sir? Well, now he's hung up. This is all your fault!
Luke Skywalker fails to communicate with C-3PO with his comlink

A comlink was a miraculously useful device that allowed voice communication between parties separated by great distances. They worked by sending what were technically known was radioed cream waves. They transmitted audio up to 50 kilometers. What? What, you want more? No, they didn't send video. No, they didn't provide access to the HoloNet. Bah, you kids today. I suppose you want to take pictures and videos with your comlinks, too. Sure, and you want it small enough to fit in your pocket. Hell, you want it so small you could swallow it and take pictures of your colon and e-mail them to your doctor and upload the videos to Facebook and then tweet about it to your friends from the World of Warcraft guild, right? Well, a comlink ain't got none of your newfangled fancy doodads!

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Comlink.