Bothan Herald:Is The Republic Losing Itself?

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Arsonius T. Xenophasis is smiling to hide the tears...
IS THE REPUBLIC LOSING ITSELF?

Confederacy of Independent Systems forces have seized control of major hyperspace lanes in a move that threatens the Republic in a move that leaves the galactic public wondering once again just how hyperspace works. Apparently, patrolling major hyperspace lanes prevents the passage of ships in hyperspace, which writers of this publication cannot understand because it is common knowledge that hyperspace is not realspace, and therefore ships in hyperspace are not physically present. What is worse is that while the Jedi are occupied fighting a war, no one is left to keep the peace, since for some reason the billions of sentients employed in law enforcement cannot be expected to utilize their trillions of credits of advanced technology to deter crime or bring criminals to justice.

Chaos and crime have spread, and the innocent are becoming victims in an increasingly lawless galaxy. Crime lord Jabba the Hutt’s son has been kidnapped, much to the Republic’s astonishment because Jabba’s sexual appetite for Twi'lek girls was thought to preclude attraction to his fellow Hutts. Also, as the very thought is so sickening, the writers of this publication would like to take this opportunity to once again urge the Senate to outlaw Hutt reproduction. There is especially good reason for this as Hutt progeny now seem likely to often become convenient plot devices in complex political situations that may see the Republic sacrifice its moral and ethical integrity by allying with criminal organizations.

What is more, it must be questioned whether the Jedi Order, which is usually involved in such sensitive missions, is worthy of being the moral compass of the Republic. Word has recently arrived from one of our war correspondents that the Jedi are utilizing child-soldiers in direct violation of Republic law. A fourteen year old Togruta girl named Ahsoka Tano has been dispatched to the planet Christophsis to participate in the deadly campaign there. It is well understood that the Jedi Order, being an independent religious entity, is not beholden to many Republic laws, but since the Order is currently serving as part of the Grand Army of the Republic, they are bound by Republic statutes.

Tano herself might alleviate some concerns by proper conduct, but her appearance already troubles many civil rights groups. She is taken to affecting overtly sexual postures and travels everywhere in disturbingly revealing costumes. Observers are frankly concerned with the sexual objectification of so young a being by a monastic order known for less-than-stringent enforcement of its admonition against copulation. For example, Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi is widely known to maintain seven concubines in addition to a wife, exceptions which Jedi Order spokespersons insist is only due to the low Cerean birthrate. Another prime example is the aggressively sexual affectations of Jedi Master Aayla Secura. Indeed, there are certain questions about the Jedi that must be asked.


The Bothan Herald reporter Karohalva.

"This is The Bothan Herald."
―James Earl Jones