Bastila Shan

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Bastila Shan
Biographical information

Sleheyron or Talravin


At least two decades after her mother

Physical description




Personal shit
Butt buddies
  • Me :)
Forms of ass-kickery

Ui'llaim (grow a backbone)

Chronological and political information

Darth Revan

Bastila Shan was a Hot Chick-class Jedi Padawan who didn't take any bullshit from anyone, not even from a editor that's a pussy.

She was skilled in battle meditation, which means being a badass without moving an inch. She had a romantic involvement with Revan, former Dark Lord of the Sith. Reports later in her life of her turning to the Dark Side and helping destroy the Galactic Republic four thousand years before its time are unsubstantiated—which is a shame, because said reports also indicated the Sith offered her a line of kinky underwear as part of her Sith costume.



Bastila was born on Sleheyron to Wilhelm von der Shan, a hunter, and Helena Shan, the mythic queen whose face launched a thousand starships. When she was two, Bastila and her parents moved off world, a fact which in later life she would use to claim her birth was on Talravin. Despite the seeming contradiction it is indeed possible that both are true since "Talravin" was also the name of a powerful hallucinogenic powder processed on that planet.

When she turned six, Wilhelm von der Shan secretly delivered her to the Jedi temple on Coruscant in hopes of profiting from the finders fee paid upon reception of a Force-sensitive child. This act was done unbeknownst to Helena. Upon his return home, Wilhelm lied to his distraught wife that Bastila had run away to join the Exchange. However, the truth eventually came out during a drunken row, causing a rift between the two that never fully healed.

As for Bastila, she progressed rapidly under such teachers as masters Dork, Jack Daniels, and Fred Flintstone. Before long, she was found to possess the rare Force skill of battle meditation. Because of this advantage, most wimps across the internet couldn't handle her.

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Bastila Shan.