BD-3000 luxury droid
- "Kiss my shiny metal ass. You know you want to."
- ―BD-3000 droid
The sultry BD-3000 luxury droid was a versatile attendant droid produced by LeisureMech Enterprises. According to medical statistics, it was the cause of roughly 75% of self-inflicted penile injuries in the galaxy.
As a luxury attendant, the BD-3000 was capable of chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning, tailoring, party hosting, shopping, child supervision, and tending to elderly dependents. As their versatility was their main selling point, "expansion slots" allowed them to be customized for new tasks. Because of their physical construction, however, sex was not one of the new tasks for which they could be customized.
LeisureMech went to great lengths to remind customers that the BD-3000 models were not capable of sexual intercourse, but this did not prevent millions of customers from injuring themselves in futile attempts.
The instruction manual for the BD-3000 reads as follows:
Thank you, valued customer, for your purchase of a BD-3000 luxury droid! LeisureMech Enterprises would like to remind you, valued customer, that you cannot have sex with the BD-3000 luxury droid. This versatile droid will provide you with years of service, with the exception of sexual services, which the BD-3000 is not physically equipped to offer.
In order to ensure your continued satisfaction with your BD-3000 luxury droid, LeisureMech offers the following warnings:
- You cannot have sex with the BD-3000 luxury droid.
- The physical construction of the BD-3000 luxury droid does not permit sexual activity. The groin area of the BD-3000 luxury droid houses power conductors and a gyroscopic unit that controls the droid's balance for bipedal locomotion and contains absolutely no equivalent of female genitalia. LeisureMech Enterprises accepts no responsibility for any medical issues resulting from any attempt at sexual activity involving a BD-3000 luxury droid.
- LeisureMech Enterprises is aware that in the past some customers have made crude attempts to modify their BD-3000 luxury droid to allow for sexual activity. LeisureMech Enterprises makes it known to all its valued customers that any attempt to modify a BD-3000 luxury droid in this fashion invalidates the warranty of that BD-3000 luxury droid. Again, LeisureMech Enterprises accepts no responsibility for any medical issues resulting from any attempt at sexual activity involving a BD-3000 luxury droid, modified or otherwise.
- In response to a sizable and still growing body of medical evidence of extremely unpleasant penile injuries sustained by customers attempting to have sex with a BD-3000 luxury droid, LeisureMech Enterprises has modified the BD-3000 luxury droid so that the groin area of the droid is reasonably free of sharp metal surfaces and metal joints that can pinch vulnerable areas of the anatomy of our valued customers.
- The popular holonet adult entertainment series, How to Have Sex with a BD-3000, is in no way affiliated with LeisureMech Enterprises or officially connected to the BD-3000 luxury droid. Any modifications you may make to your BD-3000 luxury droid as a result of this holonet series will invalidate the warranty of your BD-3000 luxury droid, and LeisureMech Enterprises accepts no responsibility for any medical issues resulting from any attempt at sexual activity involving your newly modified BD-3000 luxury droid.
- Something something something destroy your planet.
Despite the great lengths to which LeisureMech Enterprises has gone to discourage sexual activity with its most popular droid line, each year millions of cases come to light of customers, and indeed high-ranking executives of LeisureMech, injuring themselves in such attempts. In one notable case, the vice president of marketing was rushed to the Coruscant Extreme Penile Injury Clinic with his penis still embedded in the gyroacetabular joint of his personal BD-3000, whom he had named "Bunnylube."