ARC-170 starfighter

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Not quite an X-wing
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Aggressive ReConnaissance-170 starfighter.

The ARC-170 starfighter, or Angry RaCcoon-170 starfighter, also known as the Ж-wing, or Zhe-wing fighter because it was a Russian piece of crap, was the cheap communist version of the X-wing used by the Galactic Republic during the Clone Wars... and a big part of why the Republic collapsed.

No sensible pilot would ever pilot an ARC-170, which is why they were all piloted by clones. The medium laser cannons were mounted haphazardly on the wings, but even a minor jolt could knock them off, like the rear bumper of a Ford Pinto. The S-foils did nothing but increase the fighter's target silhouette.

In one-on-one battles, ARC-170s could barely hold their own against TIE fighters... but on the good side, TIEs and X-wings hadn't been invented yet, so they were mostly fighting Vulture droids, who had worse flight AI than the pirates in Privateer 2: The Darkening.

ARC supposedly stood for Aggressive ReConnaissance. Uh-huh. Right. Other things ARC was just as likely to stand for: Absorptive ReCtum, Andy RiChter, Argumentative RiCkshaw, Atlantic RiChfield, Antifungal RuCksack, Ann RiChards, Attractive RaCquetball, Abigail RoCkefeller, and Abortive RetCon.